My mother's health has been declining since she fell and broke her ribs in February. A trip to the ER revealed a blood clot in her lungs. Not to mention she has lost so much of her body weight. She insists on coming home and I know I can't take care of her now. It has been a struggle up to now just trying to get her to eat.
I've got a couple of days to make a decision. This is hard and I just need to release this pain I am feeling. I didn't know this was coming my way. This is too much. Comments please.
If you stand your ground and make sure they understand that you CANNOT take care of her, they will have no choice but to get her placed.
And then you can get back to just being your mothers child and advocate and not her overwhelmed and burned out caregiver, and your mother will receive the care she now requires.
It will be a win win for all involved.
When she says she wants to go home and not to rehab, you'll be able to say "I know Mom. Sorry but the doc says you need rehab."
Sorry you're going through this.
Really you have already made your decision: "I can't take care of her right now."
If you can't do that now, you won't be able to do it day in day out either.
Please think of this as you doing what's in your mum's best interests, even if she doesn't see it that way. That's the truth.
You did not cause the aging process and you will not stop the aging process. You’re doing your best be kind to yourself and do what’s best for your mother..
Home is our familiar place.
Unfortunately, for your mother, if she does not have someone to provide the care she needs, she can not go home. You have to make this clear to her doctor, the one who will give the discharge orders.
She should be transferred to a skilled nursing facility/rehab. That is considered a short-term stay, pending the progress made by the patient. If the patient is no longer making progress - that is, getting better and able to go home, then she will need to be transferred to a long term care facility.
You say you can't take care of her now. Does she have the means to hire full-time care in her home? There are live-in care providers, or she could hire caregivers to come in shifts as needed.
You need to tell her, without hesitation, that you are not able to provide the care she will need at home. She may want to pressure you, only because that is the easiest path for her. She needs to understand that it is beyond your capability, and you can help guide her toward a more feasible option.
I'm so sorry you are going through this pain. You have watched your mother decline, and I'm sure you instinctively know that she will only continue to decline.
She could make a remarkable recovery, but that is not likely.
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