My husband is probably early stage Alz or advanced mild cognitive impairment. He passed his driving test w flying colors. He is still working for a few more weeks and is retiring because he felt it was best. Most of our friends can not detect much difference in him but it is clear to those of us that see him day after day and to the doctors. He went to Wharton (at the same time as Trump although Trump was never seen in any classes by anyone) so is highly intelligent with a good supply of cognitive reserve. Our children are afraid to let him drive their children 8,9 and 11 and are holding off any visits alone at our home although I am fine. We are in early 70s. I have stopped telling them anything about his condition and they never ask. We see them often. They even said no to coming to his big office retirement party!! I know my kids have made determinations about what they will and will not allow but refuse to tell us what their “rules” are. I have asked them to share their thoughts so we can address their concerns for the safety of our grands and our desire to have them spend an overnight at our house. They ignore those requests. At our continual attempts to set up time w the grands they come up w some compromises but will still not talk to us about their thoughts. I am a well educated former teacher and very active in the volunteer world and sought after for leadership positions. My therapists ideas have not worked ( yes2 therapists!) and we want memorable moments w the children while my husband is still highly functional. What can we do? We live an hour and 20 minutes from both children and I am afraid of a face to face- my son gets nasty and my daughter withdraws. They have not asked either of us how we are doing and when we were originally given the diagnosis they were at the meeting and did not even get up and hug us though I was hysterically crying. My daughter is a social worker with an MSW!! Help!!