My husband's PCP performed a cognitive test in office during a routine exam and my husband did not do so well. So the PCP referred him to a neurologist who performed a SLUMS test. Husband scored 25/30 which is mild cognitive impairment. Before the next follow up exam I sent the neuro a letter asking her to be CERTAIN in her diagnosis and please rule out such things as HF Autism, depression, narcissism (his mom is a narcissist), normal aging and forgetfulness, or other possible causes for his low scores before labeling him with dementia. At the follow up, the neuro said she wants the comprehensive 4 hour exam done so she can be more sure of her diagnosis. We are still waiting for that appointment to be made and I am trying to have it expedited.
In the meantime, my marriage is on the rocks. Every time my husband forgets something (which is fairly often), needs to "get his bearings" when we are out driving, forgets to run an errand I asked him to do, doesn't check his phone for texts and voice mails, forgets a conversation we recently had (often) he gets very upset and accuses me of wanting to have him committed, making things up, seeing things that are not there, etc. Never mind he did poorly on both in office cognitive exams! He accuses me of having dementia because I make lists (chores, errands, shopping lists) and he claims if I did not make lists I would forget, but he refuses to make lists to help him remember things. (I am a highly organized person and have always made lists to stay organized.) He says that no one should worry until the day he is out driving and gets lost and cannot get home. He does not even realize that, when that happens, it will be too late for him to help me plan for our future and it will all fall to me. We have only been married 5 years! He is 8 years older than me. I am so upset and heartbroken and not sure if I can take this much longer. He won't let me tell his kids he is being evaluated and I have no one to talk to here. Counseling did not work out for me. I am the one fighting to assure a correct diagnosis and not just a label of "dementia." He cannot see that an early diagnosis will either remove the dementia suspicion entirely or help me to help us plan for the future if he does get a dementia diagnosis. I am simply exhausted. Has any other spouse been through this??