I don't know where to go to find out my moms information as to who is the attorney who did the trust (or will, I'm not sure what she had done) and her current husband is not being very helpful. I spoke with my mom's best friend and asked her some questions and most of her answers were "I need to talk to your moms husband" and she is supposed to be the executor?? Isn't she supposed to have all this information and a copy of the will? I have a feeling that my mom's husband and possibly her best friend (the executor) are trying to do something to change the will or leave me out. I am my mom's only living heir and I was under the impression all of my mom's estate would go to me. I don't even know where my mom's ashes are, her husband has not called me at all since my mom passed away. Even at the Celebration of Life, he mentioned and thanked many people who were there for my mom and meant a lot to her and not one time did he even mention me. Yes, I was pretty upset and to top it off, his son, who is grown and married was the first one to speak and called MY mom, Mom and he lives in another state. So bottom line, I feel like I'm being messed with and I'm afraid I'm not going to get anything from my mom's life. She has important things from my Grandmother that I would like to pass down to my children and I feel like he is trying to take everything and then when he dies, all of my mom's stuff will go to his son. Where do I start? I live in California and I need to know the laws as far as who has more rights making any decisions, myself or her husband?

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I'm going along the same lines as freq flier. It doesn't sound as though you were in close contact with your mom in her later years. You don't know if she had a will, you don't know where her ashes are, etc. Usually, if you had been in close contact with your mom, you would know these things. Maybe you were estranged from her because of her husband ?

Unfortunately for you, her whole estate would go to her husband under California law. It doesn't matter if you are the only living blood heir, husband trumps child.

If I were you, I would suck it up and go schmooze your stepfather for whatever family heirlooms you want. Hopefully he'll have pity on you and give the items to you.

It doesn't sound like there's much love lost between you, so I wouldn't count on much. Maybe he'll split his estate between his son and you when he dies. Wishful thinking.

Sorry to burst your bubble.
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I am so sorry for your loss.

Unfortunately when a parent remarries, the new spouse and the child(ren) (either his or hers) who are the most vocal and who are around the new couple the most are the ones who inherit the most.

When was the last time you spoke to your Mom? You may have been on her will prior to her recent marriage, but that does not mean that you are a current heir. How long ago did she remarry?

Maybe if you let your step-father know that you only want your Maternal Grandmother's belongs (china, photos, etc) and that you do not want nor expect any money, he might give her belongings to you.

I am sorry that this has happened. Too bad your mother didn't give you your grandmother's belongs while she was alive. Sigh:(
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Noodles, when a couple is married, it's the remaining spouse who becomes the main heir. If there isn't a spouse, then the child(ren) become the heirs. And there are times when there are heirs and all the monies are donated to charity.

Have you seen Mom's Will? Do you know for a fact that your name is in the Will? Was Mom's Step-Son named in the Will?  No one can change the Will after death.

Correct me if I am wrong, I have a feeling you were estranged from the family. Why I said that is that you were surprised that Mom's Step-Son called her "Mom" at the Celebration of Life. If she helped raised him, why shouldn't he call her Mom?

If there is more information you can give us, it would be helpful.
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