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He has problems with incontinence. He has been this way now for 2 years. I hate to take him anywhere because of this problem. Some people really hate it when he does it. He wears a lady’s pull up because they hold more but we still have problems.
The good days are getting farther and farther apart so I hate to say we can’t go anywhere.
Any ideas? Oh and he no longer knows when he has to go. Otherwise he would go to the bathroom.

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hugs!!

it helps sometimes to have a bathroom schedule.

sometimes, if you’re elderly/frail, even if you would feel the need to go to the bathroom, you won’t get there on time.

walking too slow.

in any case, it helps to have a bathroom schedule. examples:
...bathroom after every meal (breakfast, lunch, dinner)
...bathroom also 10 am, and 4 pm.

...if it happens at night (urine for example), some men keep a container near the bed, in case.
...it’s uncomfortable to have dirty adult diapers.

hugs!!!
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Reply to bundleofjoy
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I also have incontinence with good and bad but my wife will ask if I feel like going to visit or somewhere she is always considerate.
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Reply to sport1317
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JMO but I think people have a right to not want company that pees their pants in their living room or wherever. I would not take my husband out visiting. I would want to spare him the embarrassment.
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Reply to Bridger46164
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Your husband suffers from dementia which causes the argumentativeness and refusal to take your helpful advice etc. It's likely causing his incontinence issues as well, which a catheter won't fix because he will probably be fiddling with it constantly. You can buy Guards for his disposable brief which are like diaper doublers we used with the kids to soak up more urine. The definition of incontinence is not recognizing the urge to urinate, which makes disposable adult briefs a necessity. If you could get him on a bathroom schedule, it may help, but not 100%. And the dementia makes him disagreeable to everything in general, so you're in a no-win situation 🤐

It reaches the point where going out becomes more trouble than it's worth, so we can't take my 94 yo demented mother anywhere. We used to take her to dinner once a week (She lives in a Memory Care Assisted Living place) but now she's wheelchair bound which makes it very hard to get her in and out of the car, etc. She's quite heavy, too, and like dead weight, so I've taken to bringing her food instead.

There's no great answers with dementia, unfortunately, so I hope YOU are getting some down time for yourself. Everyone worries about the patient but not everybody remembers there are TWO lives greatly affected here!

Good luck to you.
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Reply to lealonnie1
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You may want to take him to the bathroom every 2 hours. Figure out the times he has #2. First thing in the morning, after a meal? Men seem to be more regular than women.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Catyduke Apr 18, 2021
There’s one problem with that. He is constantly telling me he is tired of me telling him what to do and if I suggest something he does the opposite.
Thank you for the suggestion
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You can have him use a condom catheter, or some other type of catheter, and when you're going out and about, use the smaller bag that straps to his leg, so it's inconspicuous.
Other than that you may just have to keep him home if he prefers, and go off by yourself if you're able, and if not have a friend or family member come stay with him so you can get away, or hire someone.
It's hard I know. My husband suffered with incontinence for the last 3 years of his life. He ended up getting a supra pubic catheter, after trying all the different medications, and having Botox put in the his bladder. None of that helped my husband, but it may help yours. Best wishes.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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Catyduke Apr 18, 2021
Thank you. I have thought about something like that but not sure it would work. When he is in the hospital he pulls iv’s out.
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So, you mean incontinence, not inconsistencies?
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Reply to Geaton777
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Catyduke Apr 18, 2021
Yes
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