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I have tried to help him understand that this doesn't happen when he sits to urinate. Will only sit, begrudgingly, if I accompany him to bathroom. Then, won't lower Depends enough, so urinates on waistband. Wet front of pants is my biggest concern. Change clothes immediately but what about if we finally, with Covid isolation over, visit friends or relatives, and we run out of dry clothes for changing. He is dismissive of my concerns, of course. Out of character since he is so OCD over the least issue of crumbs on clothes, or other distractions. Thoughts? Thank you.

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My 6'5" hubby HAS to sit to pee. It's absolutely non-discussable. He's so tall that the splashback is incredible. I finally made him get down to ground to show him what I was cleaning up every day-usually twice a day. Said he could only stand up if he'd clean up. To which he replied "It makes me gag". "How handy" says I, "You're right there by the toilet."

He's perfectly fine and I do get that he'd rather stand--but the alternative is a stinky bathroom and we only have one that is for guests and family.
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Lynn47 Jan 28, 2021
Thank you! Good luck!
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We ordered my Dad several pairs of men’s denim putter pants with the elastic waist no fly (no fly very important) from Buck and Buck. Easy to get down and pull up. No belt. They look very nice wash up well and are so soft.
We had Dad sit initially at the suggestion of his urologist as it helped him completely empty his bladder something men don’t do when standing. Dad knew his Doctor wanted him to do it and was okay with it. It helped his enlarged prostrate and there were less trips to the bathroom. In addition it eliminated the drips on the floor. We had to remind Dad his Doctor wanted him to sit down and not stand to help his enlarged prostrate. We did eventually have to accompany Dad each time to the bathroom and help him sit down as he would forget and stand up.. Dad always thanked us for helping him. A bonus was a clean floor and dry pants. And more time with my Dad talking and that was priceless.
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I had the same issue with my husband when he became so unsteady on his feet, and before he got his permanent catheter. I made him sit on the toilet everytime he had to pee. I had to put his bedside commode over the toilet, so it was up higher for him, and he had the handles to help him get up. He didn't like it at first, but I honestly didn't give him a choice, as I got tired of not only cleaning him up, but the surrounding floor as well. Eventually it became second nature for him.
You could also try using a plastic urinal on occasion as well. I would use that with my husband sometimes overnight, so he didn't have to get up to pee. I had to hold it for him, as my husband only had use of one hand, and had essential tremors in that hand, so it was just easier for me to hold it. It's challenging for sure. I wish you the very best.
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Lynn47 Jan 28, 2021
Thanks so much. Like the urinal idea for night, too.
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I went on Amazon and got 3 potable uninals with a hose and I'm not sure this is the brand I bought but the other looks just like it. "Takuyada Men Reusable Pee Jug Male Urine Bottle 47.2" Long Tube with Lid Portable Thicken Men's Potty 2000ml for Hospital Camping Car Travel Toilet Universal Urinals". One that he uses in the car and the other two are rotated by his bed. You have to screw the hose gently - carefully as it's chineese plastic. I rinse them good morning and night when I switch them and periodically rinse with bleach. They work great. Plus he has a regular urinal that hangs on his walker and it goes where he goes. I change it a number of times a day but it's better than cleaning the toilet and floor. Years ago I researched condom cathador? that fit on his body part and a hose goes to a bag strapped to the leg. It would be great to use when going out in plublic but he doesn't want to use them. Good luck.
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KaleyBug Jan 31, 2021
My dad uses a urinal also and does not want to try the condom catheter either.
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I raised two boys and taught them that if isn't a urinal, you don't stand up.

Not sure if you can try that argument, but it might be worth a try.
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While still middle aged, I also had an issue, more of out laziness and not being careful in the middle of the night

When traveling in Europe for work, I noted some public toilets had a stick on decal of a house fly or a target in the bottom of the toilet, near the drain on the bottom. Human nature being what it is, especially for those of us with some OCD, your goal becomes to nail that housefly with your stream. After that, I had to clean the rim of the toilet less. I googled and you can get these kind of things online. It almost makes taking a whizz fun.
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Try a funnel to pee in. Maybe some plastic tubing attached to the end of the. It would go straight into the toilet, BUT would have to be washed out so you'd still have to be there with him to do that part. Or you could rig up some kind of holder on a toilet paper holder to rest the funnel on until you get back to the bathroom again. -- This almost sounds like a design challenge that my brain will be trying to solve!

LOL - this is a pet peeve of mine with men who have no disability. I've told several if mother's would teach their boys to sit and pee when they are toilet training them, there would never be the issue of the nasty drips down front of toilet (that, more often than not, a woman has to clean up when they do bathroom cleaning). If they sat all their lives, it would no longer be a 'natural' thing to stand up. Plus, the taller the guy, the more the splatter.
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I asked him about sitting and peeing. He told me he had tried but has not been able to do so for years. He is 97. If I am around I bought some small disposable bed pads. Really small ones I lay across the depends to catch any drips. It helps a lot. If no one is here but me. He prefers to just wear the depends with a blanket over his legs and lap. Then he only has to pull down the depends.
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Invisible Jan 31, 2021
MIght be a question of urgency.
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My husband finds it easier to urinate into a bottle...plastic urinal...and then empty that into the toilet. It's saved lots of messes and splashes. He doesn't like sitting on the stool. He keeps the bottles in the bathroom and is supposed to rinse out with disinfectant after every pee. Still working on that....good luck!
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Please have him checked by his primary care doctor. Physical issues can be enlarged prostate, prostate cancer (that's one primary reason to visit his doc). minor stroke (that would explain sudden change in behavior), blood chemistry imbalance, and infections. If those are ruled out, then it is an issue about finding adjustments that will work:
1 - If he is having problems with buttons and zippers, then elastic waistband pants are easiest to use.
2 - If he doesn't have a strong a stream, then sitting down, using a urinal (plastic bottle/jug), or a "funnel" to direct his stream might be your best options. You can buy the paper funnels online.
3 - If he is "forgetting" then adult incontinence briefs (Depends and other brands) might be your best option. If your go the disposable brief route, try to find ones with elasticized waist bands that fit better and may allow him to "go" naturally.
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