I have read back on posts that go back many years. The issue of vanity, lack of regard for caretakers time and effort, and then refusing to use the very tools that brought my mother back some independance amazes me. My mother now needs a cleaning person, I have emphatically told her I will not do this. I have my own family and job. She does not want to spend any money. She has enough. She went from being flat on her back, in and out of hospitals and rehabs, to a walker to a cane in 10 weeks and now doesn't want to use any aid. I can visual see her imbalance. What is one to do? It makes me just want to stay away. There's also an issue with meals. She was getting a meal at a center daily but now refuses to think of going back. Confidence or doesn't want to be seen with a cane? I am not trying to take away anyone's independance. I am not trying to control anything. I am trying to help but I feel any boundaries I try to set for myself are ignored. I don't want her not using a cane if she's in my company (ie: taking her to the doctor) I see vanity and quite frankly selfishness. How do I deal with this? I have siblings who live far away and the ones who are close are almost forcing her care onto my shoulders. But, everyone did pitch in to get her back into her house on a second floor with steps. Made it totally safe with lighting and everything else that could be thought of. She could not have asked for a better team. Now everyone has moved back to their own lives. I honestly do not know what to do. The stubbornness is just unbelievable. Any suggestions to help her make safety first?