So, we found out about a month ago my dad has stage 3 liver disease and has for about a year now, at least. Since his diagnosis he has deteriorated very quickly. Ammonia levels are very high and he is very confused and disoriented. He has wasted away to nothing but skin and bone, except he has ascites that makes him look about 9 months pregnant. He has black bruises all over his arms, extremely swollen ankles and feet. The bottoms of his feet are turning orange now. He is itching all over and can barely stay awake for an hour before he goes for a nap. He has started to get bad diarrhea a couple days ago and now is convinced the reason he feels this way is because he has a virus. I came home to try and convince him to go to the emergency room because he is so uncomfortable and hasn't ate in 3 days, and has had one glass of water. He won't listen to my mom and gets very defensive when she tries to talk to him about it. I can't stand watching him like this anymore, he needs help even if it's just to feel comfortable.

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If he wants no further treatment let him have his wish.
I would call Hospice and get him on Hospice, they will help with supplies, medications and do all they can to keep him pain free.

there is a good chance if you did call 911 he could refuse to go to the hospital.
If he did go to the hospital and if he refused treatment they would probably refer to Hospice.
If he wants no tubes, feeding or intubation he should sign a POLST that will state what treatment he does want and to what degree.
I feel for you but I understand what he is going through.
If he wants to remain home and die at home surrounded by family and comfortable in his own home rather than in a hospital hooked up to machines please allow him that.
Hugs for you and him.
Be strong for him!
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Where is hospice? The ER is the last place I would take this person if it was my loved one unless it was ONLY for pain relieve pain or broken bones... Does he have a DNR (do not resuscitate) or an Advanced Directive drawn up? As bad as he might be, a trip to the ER or a visit from paramedics can make this no go from bad to worse. They are in the business of life saving at all costs (unless legally instructed otherwise as with a DNR or Advance Directive), not palliative or hospice care. From my personal experience ascities is due to organ failure. Surely he needs some relief for that if possible. An ER visit can help him there but boy I for one would hesitate to go without paperwork to protect him from full lifesaving measures at this stage. Sending my thoughts and love to you both at this very difficult time. (((Hugs)))
Helpful Answer (3)

My DH is 96 in 2 weeks and we discussed his going to the ER and this is what he said:
"There is NO cure for old age."

His last trip to the ER almost cost him his life. They kept him in the ER for 12 hours before giving him a room. He was bleeding the entire time from blood blisters on his arm and the stupid ER doctor gave him 2 suppositories and he bled from his anus for 3 days just from them!

There is a reason some of us choose not to go to the ER. Sometimes even if you don't like the answer, we must follow their wishes. If it was you instead of your dad, would you want to go to the ER and lay on a table for hours on end? Liver Cancer is one of the worst - I have lost friends to it, even after Chemo. I'm sorry but it really sounds like it is time for you to call Hospice.
Helpful Answer (1)

When your dad was diagnosed with stage 3 cancer of the liver, did anyone talk with him about his wishes? Did he want to die at home, hospice, etc? Has he been seeing a doctor since he was diagnosed? It may be time to think about hospice as it seems he is nearing the last of his time here.
Helpful Answer (2)

My Dad had Hep B & you just described his symptons of liver disease. The confusion & disorientation is probably why your Dad doesn't want to go to the ER. He is not capable of understanding what is going on until the Ammonia level is under control. Being defensive is part of the brain confusion, too. I would call an ambulance.
Helpful Answer (4)

Call for a hospice evaluation. They can help you deal with this and help make your dad comfortable.
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