I'm a single, 50-year old, divorced woman with no children, living with my 80-year old mother as her care taker.

She is an independent senior citizen who had a minor stroke after dad passed away 5 years ago.

She's always been a bit over the top and narcissistic. But it's gotten worse with her loud outbursts in public. She uses profanity and is extremely short tempered. In one breath she's preaching the bible and a second later she might get irritated if she's corrected or interrupted and curse the person out.

Her reactions have really affected me and my life.

Because I work from home and go out of town once monthly, she wants my attention and gets really down right nasty.

Something new happened this past Sunday...we went to a buffet and she got 2 plates of pie and then went to get food. She filled up her plate and got a bowl of stew. It was way too much. She ate all of her food and had pie topping all on her hand, underneath her finger nails and was very upset with me when I asked her to put down her knife and wipe her hands and mouth.

I'm sad to see my mom going through all of this.

On top of that..the little income she is receiving is going to help my brother with his rent in Las Vegas and to keep up the house we are living in. So her monthly income is supporting 6 folks plus her.


Please help. I'm at my wits end. I'm not gonna fight my brother over this. He and mom are alike..both narcissists.

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cdmccrea, have your Mom be tested for an urinary tract infection. Such an infection can mimic dementia. If Mom does have a UTI, it can be treated with
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I agree with Ahmijoy. Just curious, why does she feel she needs to support brother? If Mom ever needs Medicaid for LTC, she will no longer be able to support him. All her money will go to her care. She will not even be able to maintain her house even though she is allowed to keep it. Don't allow him any large sums of money. It could effect her Medicaid.
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First of all, get at least financial Power of Attorney before Mom declines further. This way, you will be able to cut free-loading brother off. Then, if this is a sudden decline, have her tested for a urinary tract infection. If her behavior has seemed to decline over months or years, she should be evaluated for dementia/Alzheimer’s. Acting out, unreasonable anger, demanding and nasty behavior—all these are signs of declining mental health. My mother, also narcissistic, who was Queen of The Prudes, became obsessed with sex. A friend’s grandfather was always meek and mild, became a loud, belligerent racist in the nursing home. Dementia exacerbates those behaviors.

Don't wonder and suffer in silence. Get her to her doctor and find out what’s going on. If it is dementia, it won’t get better, only worse. And do get that POA.
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