So if you might remember, Mom is a vituperous rattlesnake bent on making me as uncomfortable as possible without letting on this is her LIFELONG pattern. If I'm working from home she'll call me 15+ times per day sometimes asking for something, sometimes needing me to do something etc. If I'm on the road I won't hear from her for 2 weeks straight.
She needs things like for me to look on her computer to increase the font size etc. I'm happy to do these tasks when I can but it is becoming impossible to relax waiting for the friggin phone to ring yet again.
The latest thing is the RV isn't fit for habitation when the temperature drops below 32 outside.
I know this to be a set up for me to have to stay in the house yet again to find she is just a miserable person bent on filling her time manipulating others into some rough compliance, doesn't matter what for, just it has to be done, OR ELSE!
doesn't matter the threats, the outcome is more misery...
How do I explain I'm not able to move in?
I am thinking of faking covid is how badly I do not want to spend even one more night in the same house w/her
she saw I was leading up to saying no, I would not move into the house and she immediately was not able to continue the conversation due to "being so tired"
Hopeful she will just drop it, but not holding my breath
wish me luck, I'm going in, I'll see what comes from all of your great advice and report back in a little bit, thank you all again!
Thanks again.
Smash your phone with a large sledge hammer. Or do what my DH did one time when we first met and his DD was aggravating him. He threw his phone down SO hard on my cement driveway that the glass shattered and bits and parts of the rest of it went flying all over the street. Believe it or not, I still married him! 😂
It'd be a lot cheaper to turn your phone off and call your mother once a day, at YOUR convenience.
Tell your mother to keep a list of tasks she needs done.
Go over twice a wekk MAX and do the tasks on the list.
If she needs someone every 15 minutes, she belongs in Assisted Living, not at home.
Apparently, she CAN get along without all that assistance because she is fine when you are on the road.
Or else? That’s blackmail. What can she do? Not a thing.
It’s very annoying to have that many phone calls. That borders on harassment.
Put your phone on vibrate. Or even silent. Anyone important will leave a message.
If she leaves a message, delete it.
None of her requests are emergencies.
I just had a facetious thought. Should I say it? Why not? Give her a copy of ‘The Little Boy who Cried Wolf.’
Let her know that you are not going to jump through hoops for her.
She can make a list of her needs and you can tend to reasonable requests when it is convenient to do so.
Would anyone else jump through hoops for her? No, so why should you?
Learn to just say "no", gently and with a smile.
We used to have a frequent poster here I miss to this day; she would always say "Learn to say 'Oh, I couldn't possibly do that'". (Ahmijoy, where ARE you?)