How do I handle anxiety related to my parent?

Hi Tater, I am so sorry for your loss and the circumstances due to COVID and restrictions. Please give yourself a break. Omg, you are overwhelmed and grieving. I too am not as patient as I could/should/want to be during these stressful times. We are all doing the best we can. I try to just agree with everything these days. I find it less exhausting.

Thank you, everyone! Your understanding comforts me. Just saw my doctor today (follow up appt). He says the same - take it easy on myself. I appreciate your support tremendously.

I do this with my husband. Love him but when he has his mind set on one thing, you can't sway him. I am not a patient person to begin with and worse as I have aged. Grandson had a brain operation 3 wks ago. He is doing great. Mind still like swiss cheese but doing pretty good. He has been out of work since August. Unemployment not working quick enough or and just signed up for Disability. He also has a claim in for wrongful termination. DH said "he seems to be doing OK maybe he can go back to work". I said "he has an appt in 5 weeks to see the surgeon again" DH "five weeks! I know people who have been back to work way before that". This from a man who has no serious health problems and has never had surgery. He was a jock in school. I lost it and told him "this is brain surgery! We are really lucky there were no complications"

I know where you are coming from. My DH is like ur father. And instead of just letting it go, I have to argue. Like with my grandson, should have just let it go. Been married almost 40 yrs, think I would have learned. I just keep asking myself "to let it go not important". Does her saying the wrong location of a restaurant between u two really hurt things. No. Now if she is giving someone directions, you may nicely say "No thats Franks, Bobs is on 1st street. If she argues, let it go. The person should have a GPS.

I also think you both should get grief counseling. Some Churches offer it. I would think with this whole C19 thing there should be groups getting together as this hopefully dies down. You and Mom didn't have closure. There is probably some misplaced guilt. Five stages if grief are:

Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance

I am so sorry for your loss. Be a bit easy on yourself. You both are doing your best. Either of you might have problems going forward; when you do, just remember to apologize later and say this is all so difficult for everyone. Do cut yourself some slack, and your Mom as well. Your temper is short. This is all normal.

I'm so sorry for you loss in such an awful circumstance. May you receive peace in your hearts. My mom is 91 and I find myself feeling and acting the same as you with your mom. I have to step back and remind myself that she's not her "original" self and to just let her think what she wants and win any argument because it doesn't really matter and it does neither of us any good. But...it is difficult to look at her and not remember her as "her prior self" and react to her as if she's still that person. She's not and I keep forgetting and then feeling terrible about it. I've done more apologizing this year than all previous years of my life combined. May you receive blessings that outweigh your grief.

Sounds like your grief is pretty raw. My dad died this past summer and I recently bit the head off of a medical scheduler who called me to complete the preregistration for his upcoming appointment. She wouldn’t just let me say he’d passed away and no appointment would be happening. She insisted on going through her “boxes to check off” and though I tried repeatedly to tell her nicely, I finally lost it. Anyway, you’re trying to be nice but also feeling pushed and then the fury comes out. It’s the frustration of the real thing you want not being there anymore, the sadness at the huge life change. It’s okay to make a mental list of topics not to discuss for a while if that helps, also to tell mom you just need some quiet, or even to step away entirely when you feel the annoyance building. I wish you healing and peace

Heavens, this can't have happened more than a few months ago at most! Aren't you asking a bit much of both yourself and your mother? You're both bound to be upset, irritable, hypersensitive - grieving, in short.

Are you and your mother living together?

I'm so sorry for your loss, and for how it happened.

Dear "tatertotsx2,"

Although I don't have any advice/suggestions for you, I'm so sorry that your father passed away from COVID and that you and your mom didn't get to be with him when he died - that is truly heartbreaking and I know how you both would feel traumatized by it.

I personally, had to take an anti-anxiety medication which has helped me a lot in keeping me calm when unexpected issues arise.

Please accept my heartfelt condolences to you both and may God give you a sense of peace as you grieve your loss.