Although we aren’t blood related, I grew up calling my mom’s best friend of over 70 years and her husband “aunt” and “uncle”. They have no kids and have no family in the US. My uncle was the primary caregiver for aunt, and always refused help since he was still independent even at 91. A few months ago, he became very ill and while he was in the hospital he asked me to be their POA and help look after my aunt. I felt uncomfortable so I reached out to her nephew who lives overseas in the hopes he would come over to help them as next of kin. Uncle died before his POA was in place but aunt named her nephew and I as her POAs allowed to act independent of each other. Turns out while her nephew wants to oversee the money, he hasn’t seen her in 30 years, and has no intention of flying here during a pandemic. While uncle was in the hospital it became clear aunt was way more fragile than I realized; she was calling me constantly for help but resisted in home caregivers. After uncle passed she finally agreed to in-home caregivers but I still had to do the bills, shopping and medication management, and finding good caregivers was difficult - she was already malnourished at 72 lbs and lost even more weight down to 65 lbs. because some aides couldn’t be bothered trying to get her to eat and others let her just eat cupcakes. She also began getting more anxious, agitated, and confused. She would yell for help out the bedroom window causing neighbors to call 911, and wandered around the house at night leaving all the doors wide open. She went to the hospital for anxiety 4 times in 3 months, and called the ambulance 2 more times (they didn’t transport her bc she was fine by the time they got there). Even with the aides in the house, she fell while wandering in the dark (luckily she was only bruised but it could’ve easily been a fall down the stairs). My life has been a constant stream of phone calls and text messages every day from aunt and her aides. I discussed assisted living with her and at times she agreed but changed her mind afterwards. Nephew agreed she should move to assisted living, so during one of those periods when she was on board with it I signed a lease at a beautiful assisted living facility. Because of COVID, it took a month to get the required medical tests and movers scheduled, and by that time she’d changed her mind again. I convinced her to just give it a try but as soon as we got there she flipped out. Since the in-home caregivers were gone, I couldn’t let her go back home. She was so agitated the staff had her hospitalized and the hospital psychiatrist and gerontologist agreed it is not appropriate for her to live at home in her mental and physical condition. She’s back at the assisted living facility but she still wants to move back into her house. I keep putting her off saying the doctors say she needs to gain weight (which is true) but she’s delusional, paranoid, and accuses me of stealing her furniture (most of which is in her assisted living apartment)! Even though I am her POA, legally I can’t make her stay in assisted living unless she’s declared incompetent (I do have conservatorship papers if that happens), but I also can’t continue to be attacked or manage her care if she moves back home. I already spent 5 years caring for my own parents until they both passed away. My stress levels are off the chart and this has affected my family and my job. I’m trying to do the right thing for a poor old woman who is all alone but I feel trapped making decisions for someone who isn’t even my family and doesn’t appreciate it. What else can/should I do?