I asked my mom to move in with me and my family 2 1/2 years ago. Right from the beinginig it's been stressful. I have two daughter 7 and 9, and my husband. I promised my father before he died that I would take care of her. He had taken care of her to the point that she relied on him for everything. Now that she has been living with us i't been stressful for me and my family. She is a very negative person that feels she needs to criticize everyone and everything. She doesn't spend time with her friends. Only talks on the phone to complain about everything. When I make decisions about and for my kids she feels the need to "help". My family doesn't do family things because she feels she needs to come along.
She is pretty independent. She doen't have much health problems so there is no justification for me putting her in a home.
My mom and I have never been close, but I feel it is my duty to look after her. But because of the dynamic of our personality it's not working.
I am Chinese and my husband is Canadian, born and raised. We often have difference of opinions whe it come to her. I feel stuck trying to navigate between keeping everyone happy.
How do I bring up the topic that this living situation is not working out. I personally thing that if she moved into an independent retirement community she will have the choice to interact with her peers and not isolate herself.
Any comments and advice would be very greatly appreciated.