Recently I went to see my sister in hopes that we'd come up with a plan in regards to my stubborn elderly parents. Thus didn't happen and in short her advice to me was, "Toughen up!" Her hope is for me to take over all the responsibilities of my parents home and life, pay the bills, treat the house like it's mine, and get super involved in all their medical care and activities. She wants me to internalize my emotions better and stop being depressed and deal with it. Eventually they'll die, and I'll get everything because mom loves me best.
I however think that's wrong and I will get nothing.
It's been over 3 years since my mother had major heart failure and every year something else fails like her mind, lungs, heart again. She's incredibly overweight, completely dependent on myself and my father, and stubborn as h*ll. Bonus: she's verbally abusive to both of us, a narcissist and a huge Gaslighter. My father is completely unmotivated, overweight, shows signs of dementia and is always confused.
She was begged to make a will and make me PoA and a medical PoA. It hasn't happened, documents will be written up and she refuses to finish them, it's always later or she's positive she'd done that already, but she hasnt. Plus, we're so focused on mom that we often forget my father has nothing in place either!
There's no discussion either because anything I try to bring up is meant with trade that are normally off topic. I just don't feel there's any point in trying.
Lastly about me, I live at home with them. I failed miserably at my career choice and it took me 5 years to find a solid fulltime job.
I want to get out! I think I can afford it now. Everyone is unhappy and I've harmed myself over the way they treat me and the overload. I have little to no life outside of them. Everyone seems to think that this is all in my head and I should just toughen up. I'll get rewarded in the end.
So should I just suck it up? Or bail and wash my hands of them?