I take care of my fiance's Dad 24/7. We tried to set respite care with the agency we have. Mr. B would not have anything to do with it. He does not think I need a break, because I am not working anyway😤 . His son knows I do, and we are at our wits end. So far we can not find an opening for Medicaid. He still has too much to be considered for this anyway. B is try to tell his sons that. I am ready to pull my hair out because of this elderly man!

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If you aren't at least a little depressed when a loved one starts displaying dementia, you don't understand the situation.

But depressing as the disease is, it is even more disturbing to realize you are being taken advantage of. Since you are not working anyway (!!) no one should miss you if you go off and do your own thing.

Respite care is absolutely necessary and critical. Mr B does not get to say you can't have it. His son needs to be firm and make the arrangements.

If Mr. B has too much to qualify for Medicaid, he can spend that money to self-pay in a facility until the money runs out and then he will qualify.

The obstacles to your well-being are pretty flimsy. He won't accept respite care. He has dementia, remember? Are you expecting him to make good decisions? He doesn't qualify for Medicaid. That doesn't prevent him from going into a facility that will accept Medicaid when his money runs out.

Your well-being is absolutely as important as Mr. B's wishes. You and fiance need to take care of your needs.
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Other than doing this caregiving out of love for your fiancé, you are not obligated to his dad for anything. The fact that “Mr. B.” Is so ungrateful makes it even worse. Tell him and his son that as of now, you are going off duty, and they need to find someone else. By a Medicaid opening, do you mean a facility? That would be the best for everyone. They can only use you if you let them. Stop letting them.
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