Hello, fellow caregivers! Although I spend a great deal of time reading the forums and looking for advice, I find myself in need of a reality check. For the past 5 years or so I've encouraged my now 90/91 year old parents to move out of their three story house and of state to be closer to me. I have two siblings who did pitch in a little to help with them, but even that was enough. When push comes to shove, my mother always looks to me for support and decisions. She rarely, if ever makes decisions on her own. Dad has stage 6 Alzheimer's, mom functions fairly well on her own and takes care of him during the day. Last summer mom indicated that it was getting to be too much and asked if she could move them into an independent care community near me. I told her to come into my home and we can make a decision about the appropriate level of care for them, but that setting up a new condo in an independent care community was unreasonable and would give me a second residence to care for. Long story short, they've moved in with my spouse and me. Dad's disease continues on its destructive course, mom is bored to tears sitting in the house doing nothing all day, and the conversation about them moving to an assisted living facility have gone nowhere productive. I've taken them to visit several and she gives me a polite, "that's nice," and we move on. She insists that she is not going, and would put him in memory care, but not go herself. She is his world and separating them would be devastating to him. Here's where I need the reality check. I did not sign up for this. I have a demanding job and my spouse and I have previously enjoyed basically being in control of our home and our time. We loved to travel, and now a weekend away is impossible. I will likely retire in the next five years, and we may want to start looking at downsizing. Now every waking minute is consumed with making sure they're needs are taken care of. I have to bathe my father, which is uncomfortable, shop for groceries, tidy up behind them, etc. Dad is incontinent and has lots of difficulty in the bathroom. The house smells like urine, their bathroom is a struggle to keep clean, and I've had to insist on mom taking proper care of disposing of his diapers. The kitchen is cluttered with their food and snacks, and we have gotten to the point where we rarely eat at home. Now my spouse and I are feeling as if our marriage isn't stable anymore. I feel like the walls are closing in on me. They are well off financially and as far as I can tell should have no concerns about money. Am I being unreasonable to want them to move into a more appropriate care facility? How can I "unstick" myself. I was only trying to help solve an immediate problem, not take this on in any permanent way.