My granddad is very nosy. A friend just stopped by to pay back some money she owed me and he wanted to know why she was here and when I told him, he demanded to know how much it was. I honestly told him it's none of his business and to stop being so nosy. He told me that he needs to know what's going on around here.

I happened to be in the bathroom when she showed up. I learned to lock the bathroom door because boundaries are non existent to him. He tried to open the door without knocking and when he realized it was locked, he pounded on the door and demanded that I open it. He told me my friend was here but there's no reason for him to be like that.

Starting to wonder if it's not so much his dementia as it is him probably just being an a**hole. Whenever I attempt to set boundaries, he just argues with me and stomps all over them. I'm done.

I think he needs a psych eval so I'm taking him to the E.R. and dropping him off. I need a break and I'm starting to fear for my safety. Whenever I don't let him get his way, he gets really angry. The other night, I heard him in a sing song voice say "you're gonna be sorry". I asked him what he meant and he got mad and claimed he was only singing. Yeah, right. He's gone. I refuse to not feel safe in my own home.

On a side note, I believe he's a narcissist. You can't say anything critical of him or anything he perceives as such or he flies into a rage and he's full of himself. He can't stand anyone else being complimented and he has to be the center of attention. Like I said, gone. I'm going to refuse to pick him up from the hospital. He has insurance. Let them figure it out. Like I said, I'm done.

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PS Who else do you live with that can help?
Helpful Answer (0)

Whiteroses, of course I don't know your Grandfather but what you described, being nosy (controlling), rudeness,
anger, rage is all seen in dementia. He is trying to make sense of his world but his brain is failing.

You mention Lewy Body Dementia in your profile? In my experience I believe this is one of the hardest & sufferers often have to placed in facility care much earlier than with Alzheimer's or Vascula Dementia.

Your Grandfather will certainly benefit from a medical review, inc Geriatrician & Psychiatrist. Mood stabilising medications may be recommended.

This is veryhard! Not a job for one person! Please reach out to professionals to connect your Grandfather to the care he needs. This may be a social worker (in hospital) or even 911 (if home) if you are unsafe. EMS can force a psych eval to happen. He may need a temporary stay to stabilise or permanent care in a facility.

You NEED to be safe. Keep repeating that to any professional that tries to fob you off. Let us know how you get on.
Helpful Answer (3)
Whiteroses Jun 2020
No one lives with me besides grandpa. I feel bad for going off like that but I'm just burnt out. I don't mind participating in his care if he's moved to an ALF but I know I can't do this alone anymore. At least I know it's not personal.
Whiteroses, my dad has always been nosey with no boundaries. My heart goes out to you.

Take care and stand strong for what you need to do.
Helpful Answer (1)
Whiteroses Jun 2020
Thank you :)
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