If you don’t do feeding tube does the hospice patient feel hungry or thirsty and starve to death?

thank you all.....I need to hear your comments every now and agin when the GUILT pangs hit me hard!

You will ALWAYS hear SOMEONE say SOMETHING about how what you did with your loved one was 'wrong', and that you 'should have' done this or that, yada yada. In reality, what you did was the right thing. Let it all go now, knowing your Dad is at peace and you did nothing wrong whatsoever.
All the best!

I agree with cwillie and alvadeer 100% but wanted to add that my heart goes out to you. These are truly heartbreaking decisions to make & live with. I wish hospice did a better job educating people on what happens to someone who is dying. There comes a point in the process where not only do they lose the desire to eat and drink-my MIL lost those desires 2.5 months before she died-but in their final weeks, as their body shuts down, they cannot digest food. The food just sits in their stomach causing increasing pain and/or discomfort.

I agree absolutely with CWillie. You may extend life but in reality you are extending torture. In hospice a person expressing pain will be medicated below the level of that pain. That is how it is done. Even for a person CHOOSING starvation, and many do so today, if you are without food for a few days you do not get hungry anymore. If you take fluid it prolongs the process from about a week to about a month to month and one half. But just as with anorexia, the hunger soon leaves. Tube feedings for the very short term is fine (tho I have refused artificial administration of ANY food or fluid excepting for delivery of morphine drip, myself (I am 77) on my advance directive. As a nurse I saw no end of the problems. Firstly is constant diarrhea, bedsores to the bone. Second is restraint to prevent pulling of the tube, dislodging and feeding into the lungs which caused instant pneumonia and usually death. They are a nightmare pure and simple. I suspect that the person speaking with you has little idea of that, and that is just as well. Only good and decent people feel guilt and question themselves. You did the absolute best thing you were able for the person you loved. Hon, that's all that's required of us. We are humans, not saints.

Feeding tubes can be a blessing as a temporary measure while someone recovers from an injury or surgery, or when they have a chronic condition that is survivable but makes it impossible for them to eat, especially when they are younger.

Everything I've read about feeding tubes in the very old or those with dementia or who are otherwise dying from disease says studies have proved again and again that they do not prolong life in any significant way - weeks and months at the most. The idea of "starving" someone is heartbreaking, but when people are nearing their final months they naturally lose the desire to eat and drink, even when they can still eat normally. I believe many elders live on indefinitely simply because they have caregivers who are willing to modify their diets and coax them to eat well beyond the point when they desire food - I know for years that my mother never asked for food.
The sad reality is that we are all mortal, sometimes living can be more painful than letting go and sometimes we can't stay no matter how hard we hold on. It's normal to second guess ourselves because we know we aren't perfect, but we all do our best with the information we have. Be at peace.