I am looking into assisted living for my mom. This year alone she has spent 4 months in hospital and rehab in the last 6 months. She has tested positive for C.diff again ( her 3rd round this year). She now has a catheter which I have a feeling will be a permanent fixture. The heart doctor wants to do a procedure to see if fluid is gathering around her heart or lungs so they can treat condition properly. Should I allow them to do it? Mom just wants to sit in her room and play games on her phone. I’m 4 years into her living with me. And I’m just exhausted. I have to manage her meds, clean, cook, doctor appts, pay her bills, try and be her physical therapist, I do it all. She is pouting now that my husband and I told her we were looking at assisted living as her care is getting more than I can or want to continue to do. I know that sounds mean and uncaring. She says that she knows that we have been wanting to get out from under her for quite some time. Said that she’s already lost one home and now she’s losing this one, that no one wants her and she has nowhere to go. The guilt is laid on thick. I get that she is scared and I’m sure disappointed that she would have to live else where. She seems all consumed with only her plight, not what I and my family have sacrificed to have her live here with us. I had to quit my job to care for her. I feel she needs more care and stimulation than I can give her. I signed on to take care of her as long as she could care for herself. I can’t even get her to wash her hands as she should ESPECIALLY since she has cdiff. My husband has been more than amazing and supportive until this last bout of ER visit and admittance to hospital and again rehab. He wants his wife back. I will be a 1st time grandmother this year and I’m finding it hard to arrange someone to come stay with her so I can be there for my daughter. Plus my son is getting married, we’re throwing them an engagement party next month and I’m freaking out on how I’m going to get it all done and care for her on top of it.
Am I doing the right thing by making her go into assisted living? Or am I being a selfish daughter?