I am blessed to have my elderly parents still in my life, my mom is 93 and my dad is 90. My mom has home health care, 4 hours in the morning and 4 hours at night, mostly to get her into bed and get her ready in the morning, and again to get her dinner and get her into bed, as she is disabled. Both of my parents still have their wits although my mom has been slipping a little over the past 6 months (mostly short term memory but nothing serious at this point). My mom forgets some things and she will ask the same question right after I gave her an answer. Usually I am patient but at times I get ruffled.

Just this morning she called and said some lawyer called her and said they have $500,000 coming their way. They are usually very good with these spam callers, but although they did not give out and bank info or social security info, this guy managed to get their address and their ages.

Of course I was very firm with her when she called and told me this. She was upset and I said we always talk about this. The guy actually had them on the phone for 1/2 hour. Probably nothing will happen but I told her that they now have her address and ages. Her caregiver was sitting with them the whole time listening but didn't get involved.

There is nothing more I despise then these spam callers preying on the elderly.

I do a lot for my mom and dad (mow the yard, grocery shop etc.). I don't mind at all but I don't like the feeling when I get upset with them, My mom says they feel like the kids now; she laughs but I know they must feel bad living so long and having to listen to me tell them things for their own good. It also must be bad to live in the world we have today where they can't trust people like they used to.

Just a side note, they had a non violent home invasion 6 years ago and they felt terrible about how they let the people in believing they were helping them with something. They were not physically hurt but the scumbags took lots of their banking info and cash. Imagine living in this time now then when they were in their prime many years ago being able to trust almost every.

Scammers can get your address and ages off the internet. There is a site that does both also including who lives in you home with who you maybe related too. Be glad she realized something was wrong. I told my Mom all the time to just say Hello, if no answer immediately hang up. Its the second hello that the telemarketer pick up on. If its no one u know hang up. There are no good telemarketers. None. I think the legit people don't make calls anymore. I don't trust door to door people either. Will not even talk to them.

Your roles "are" changing now and believe me its not a comfortable position. You are becoming the parent and them the children.
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Reply to JoAnn29

Wow! You're really lucky to still have both parents at their age and still in overall good health. Count your blessings there.

Now, to you getting upset with them at times, that is very normal for any caregiver from time to time. And if anyone tells you otherwise, they're lying. You just love them and want the best for them, and they deserve that in this time of their life. But you're human, and that means sometimes we lose our patience and get upset. It's ok. Don't beat yourself up over it. Like you said, your mom laughs about feeling like a kid, but she knows that things are different now and I'm sure they welcome your input and concern.

And as far as the scumbags, that like to prey on the elderly, their day will come. Payback is a b***h, and what goes around comes around. They will get their just reward in due time.

So just enjoy your parents while you still have them, and know that you are not alone when you get frustrated or impatient with them. You've got lots of company here on this forum. God bless.
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Reply to funkygrandma59

Hi brtrains,

I'm also fortunate to still have my parents. My dad is 87 and mom 81. They both live in the home I was raised in and in good health for their age. My mom uses a cane sometimes to help her balance and walks slower but ok. I know what you mean about somethings they say. My mom will say something (a lot of times in front of family) sometimes and I think "why would you say that" . My sisters and I know it's because of her age. Age will change your attitudes, I notice my dad gets upset about something, not bad, but it didn't seem to bother him before. I see you have caregivers come to there house to care for them.? I don't like that the one that let your mom talk on the phone , knowing there was a good chance they should have just hung up, not a friend calling..
I always tell my parents when I go to visit (I'm the sister that lives close to them) lock your doors, better safe than sorry. They laugh when I say that like you were saying, they are from a time when you didn't have to do that. Times unfortunately are different now to the bad. Scammers all over the place. I told my parents and they already do, don't even get the phone or just hang up when they see a number they don't know, doesn't look right or familiar. The answer to your question is to try to be patient :) it's their age I feel and you said your parent has a illness. I hope to have mine for more years like yours. I have shook my head on things they say to me, or ask them questions why or how because I feel I can say anything to them (in the nicest way I can, lol) because their my parents, and they love me and I love them.

Take care,
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Reply to Unitetogether

It is normal for people to get frustrated and upset. You did so. It will soon pass into history. What is more worrisome is that your parents seem to be entering a time when someone needs to take over the finances for their own protection. This can be done by you as POA or by a paid Fiduciary hired to handle accounts and bills. Your parents would have their own private and personal spending account. My brother actually ASKED me to do this for him. It is a wise thing to do for their own protection. So begin to think in terms of taking care of this for your parent's own safety.
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Reply to AlvaDeer

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