I started coming to this forum back in 2012/2013 when my Dad started having dementia symptoms. Through the years I have cared for both parents on different levels .. first my Dad, then my Mom and Dad. Mom also has dementia and my Dad passed last year.
Through my caregiving journey, I have changed.. pre caregiving relationships have all been damaged.. or I became aware of how shallow they really were. When my Dad died my MIA siblings came and professed their undying love for him, blamed me for the condition of both mom and Dad, and harassed me the week my Dad was passing. I had no one to comfort me.
So my Mom is still around but she is in a memory care. Its been since March since I have seen her because of Covid. I’m still technically a caregiver but I now have more time and am looking at trying to re build my life. The one part of my life that has stayed intact is my work. I have a good job and make a good salary so thankfully money isn’t an issue.
I have a therapist and am a member of 2 caregiver support group. No one in either groups seems to have really lost themselves as I have. Both of those groups dont seem to have anyone who can understand losing pretty much all of your relationships.. especially with relatives.. as what has happened to me. I fear that I just dont know how to get over the trauma of being a caregiver and live in peace.
Anyone understand my dilemma … or is struggling with the same thing? Any insight on how I can continue with my life? How do I connect with others now? How do I live in peace after the trauma of dealing with my parents ? Its like I have lost my own personal identity.