I don't want my parents living with me any more, should I move them out?

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I am very depressed and have been for a while now. My parents have been living with me for 18 years. All my siblings were married and living their lives. I was still living with my parents. My mother had a few strokes but her mobility was good. My father has had 2 heart attacks. When I got married my mother emotionally blackmailed me to staying with them when we were about to buy our new house. Now my parents have never got along as we were growing up. They were always arguing. My mother gets out of control when she argues with my dad. Anyway me and my husband ended up staying. I just don't know why I listened to her 19 years ago and have regretted it ever since. We did eventually buy our own house 4 years ago and my parents came with us because they are both in their eighties now and in bad health. I have 2 children now 13 and 7. My parents are making our life hell. We've never had any privacy over the years and now my children are suffering due to my mother always bickering about my father and how he treated her all her life. I work part time and also as their caregiver, I do everything for them. But my children arn't happy living in this situation. My mother is always lying on the sofa in the living room watching her channels on the tv. My children stay in their rooms after school. None of my siblings help in anyway because they think it's all up to me because they live with me. I want to live my life with my husband and children and my kids need their freedom too. Don't know if I sound selfish but I have cared for them for 19 yrs. Do I carry on? Because my parents not getting on and not speaking to each other is killing me inside, I just want to live a normal life with my little family. I need space. Should I move my parents out? I am still willing to do their chores for them but I can't live with them any more. I feel I need to put my kids first now. My parents chose to live together all these years even when they didn't get on. But it's causing a terrible atmosphere in my home. And I've had enough I need to live my life now before I go into further depression. Please help.

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I SO agree with the other 2 posters! You have done way more than could reasonably expected of you and your family. You need to put your children and husband first!!!! Especially your young children....they need you way more, at this time, then your parents do. If your parents are medically sound, a retirement home or senior housing sounds like it would be appropriate, if not, then an ALF is an excellent option. Our parents can be absolutely manipulative and usually are masters of the guilt routine. Be aware of this! I really think it's time to have a family meeting (with or without the siblings) and explain to them that you simply cannot do this anymore and for the health and well-being of your family they must make other living arrangements. But make sure you give them a deadline (hold fast to it!) else they will, in all probability drag their feet for years "trying to find a place". If they attempt to 'guilt' you into letting them stay (and they WILL) be honest and tell them their behavior is not healthy for your children, and that YOUR CHILDREN, must be your first priority. It may get ugly so be prepared for that also.

I am amazed that you've all lasted this long! Blessings to all of you! Lindaz
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Delicious, take the above advice. You and your family need and deserve to have your home without the fussing and bickering. I hope that you get the harmony in your home that you deserve.
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What SueC1957 said. Get them out to a place where you can visit and supervise their care (with help from your siblings hopefully), and get your little family back on track.
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Delicious,
You know exactly what you need to do-have them move out.

It's not fair to have YOUR family suffer for them, especially with the bickering and fighting.

If they can still somewhat do things for themselves, they could rent an apartment in a senior apartment complex with services like 3 meals a day, transportation and light maid service. I had this arrangement for my mom before her dementia got too bad.

There's also independent senior living, assisted senior living and if they have been diagnosed with dementia, then Memory Care.

Check your local senior center for resources for senior living.

Don't back down when they put up a fuss. After all, they're used to you. But Heavenly Day, you've done your share and you need peace in your home.

They must move so your depression doesn't spiral out of control.
Have you seen a therapist? Are you taking big any medications?
I'll bet you'll be doing fine once Mom and Dad are on their own.

Hit up your siblings to help move them and take some responsibility in their care.
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