I want to try to move my mom into assisted living and she is going to give me a hard time. She wants desperately to remain in her home for the rest of her life. It is going to take some sophisticated maneuvering on my part to get her to make this transition. I’m pretty sure it will take me at least three months and I’m not sure I will be successful.
At the very least, I will succeed in getting her financial affairs completely secured and some sort of caregiving situation that is better. I just wonder if this is enough to qualify me for family caregiver medical leave. As always, I appreciate the benefits of your experience and advice.
My grandparents successfully navigated in their home when they both had low vision. My aunt has been blind for many years from glaucoma and other progressive eye diseases and navigates well in her home. My mom has age-related macular degeneration and is already working on creating plans so she can maneuver in her home unassisted.
Blindness is not a reason to move to assisted living. If your loved one has other diseases that make is unsafe or unhealthy for her to live alone, then she needs assisted living.
I would suggest that you put all of your worries and concerns with your Mom's health and well being on a piece of paper, and have an open discussion about them with her. It might be too early to move her into assisted living. However, she might be willing to research and tour possible residences. Assisted living today is far different than what was available 20 years ago. In addition, the range of care is massively different among the options and in different states. The costs are very different also.
It will be a shock to her understanding once she sees what is available and the cost associated with it. Some of these places have waiting periods of years.
However, with education, I believe she will be more willing to go, once she understands what is available. This is hard for both you and her.
Good luck!
Here's the big info on FMLA: The Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) grants eligible employees of covered employers job-protected, unpaid leave for specific family and medical reasons. To be eligible, employees must have worked for the employer for at least 12 months, have worked at least 1,250 hours in the previous 12 months, and work at a location where the employer has 50 or more employees within 75 miles. If you or your company does not fit all of this criteria, then look at the employee handbook or HR handbook because some companies can add a little more benefit to the federal FMLA rules. Also, look at what HR historically does for employees when the 12 week FMLA is used up (at the end of your 3 months off work). Do they let you go if you still cannot return to work? Do they offer other positions because they have to fill yours?
For example, FMLA is basically unpaid leave - the company does not have to pay you while you're off work, however if you have some sick time or vacation time saved up, you may be able to use that leave to get paid while that time off is still counted in the 12 week FMLA.
What is your plan if you use up the whole 12 weeks and still don't have mom placed in facility care? You would have to return to work and in most situations would not be eligible to get anymore FMLA for a year (when it could start over). You might also want to apply for intermittent FMLA where you take a week or two here and there to get finances for her in order and/or caregivers and avoid using all of the 12 weeks at one time.
A detailed doctors note would be required to explain the situation that requires 3 months leave of absence. Do you or your mom have a doctor that is familiar with the situation to provide the necessary documentation? If so, it's very likely you would be approved for FMLA because your parent would be covered,
Depending on your mom’s healthcare group they may have their own form for their doctors to fill out. Kaiser’s is available on their website, for example.