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If there is no will, you and your sister will need to follow what the state law says, which will probably be that you and your sister get equal halves of everything (unless there are other siblings or your mother had a spouse, in which case they will get a share also). It's unfortunate, if she felt that way, that she didn't make a will. But don't blame your sister, since it's not her fault that your mom didn't make a will. I'm sorry for the loss of your mother.
I agree that, with no will, the estate will be passed down according to intestate succession laws of the appropriate state.
Note, however, that many financial institutions have the owners specify beneficiaries for their accounts, some accounts are designated with a pay on death beneficiary, some property titles are designated with transfer on death beneficiaries, and some are owned jointly and automatically pass to the surviving owner. These, like life insurance, would pass to the person listed, even if a will said otherwise.
Try to forgive your mother and yourself for not following up on her good intentions. I’m afraid it is far too common for caregivers who rely on inheritance for needed compensation to be disappointed.
Only your sister can decide to give you any of her inheritance or disclaim her share entirely. Such a request would likely be very awkward, so give a lot of thought to how to approach it. No one gets a second chance to make a good first impression.
So I hate to say this - but I don't think you are going to come out of this with "more". My SIL and her DH were financially supported by my in-laws for over a decade, including them moving in with FIL in the last few years of his life. (and I mean for a good long stretch fully financially supported).
In the last few years FIL began talking to DH about how he should get 75% of the estate when FIL passed to balance the scales. But he never changed his will to accommodate that thought process. And the will stated 50/50. So that is what was required to happen legally. And there was zero chance that SIL and her DH were going to give up any part of their share because they couldn't support themselves financially.
Verbal comments stating that someone "deserves" something only serve to get the hopes of the person up unjustly. There is likely nothing legal that can be done. Especially if there is no will, the state will likely split things 50/50 and leave it to you and your sister to make any personal adjustments. And your sister is under no obligation to adjust anything.
You cannot do a thing after death of your loved one. These things should have been taken care of during the life of your loved one. Your message here serves, sadly, only as a warning to other caregivers. I wish you the best.
You could always see an attorney about sending her estate a bill for the caregiving you provided. You will need detailed information about days and duties with total hours.
Or
You can Chalk it up to education and make sure you don't repeat the mistake of not putting your wishes in writing.
Let this be a cautionary tale for others to get paid as you go or eat the pie in the sky.
You need to file a Petition to Probate. An Estate will be opened. One of you becomes the Administrator of the Estate. Inheritance taxes will need to be paid. Without a written will, nothing can be done. The assets will be split with you and your sister if you do not have an inventory or proof of your caretaking. This Estate will be open anywhere between 6 to 12 months. It's not fun. You will have fees to pay during the process. Not sure if you want to pay a lawyer extra money. I was the only child. My parents had no Will. Make sure you stop any payments into her account or you will have to pay that back. I made a mistake by calling her bank. They froze my mom's account until I brought legal documents. So I rushed to the Wills and Orphans at my City Hall. You are put under a microscope whether they have a Will or not. I hope your mom didn't have anything but a bank account. That will make it easier.
See an attorney. Do you have anything in writing indicating your mom's wishes? Sorry for your loss.
I am perplexed as to why it appears no one in the family addressed this need when it could have been handled legally to avoid this situation now. Although my intent isn't to make you feel bad; it is a reminder to ALL of us to get these matters in order 'now.'
Many people who fear death want to avoid anything to do with planning for the inevitable - including getting a Will and other needed legal documents in order. We do what we can when we can. Gena / Touch Matters
Since there was not a will in place, you and your sister will legally be entited to divide the assets equally in most states. If there was a checking or savings that had you as a joint owner only, it is most likely payable to you on death this is not included in the division of assets and yours only.
You can have the difficult conversation with your sister to see if she will agree to non equal division but things can go south real fast. If there was no will there should be minimal assets to divide. It will be up to you if you would like to pursue for a possible rift between siblings.
Wishing you peace and strength during this difficult time.
This doesn't help now, but this shows just how critical it is to have a conversation and get it in writing ahead of time. Make sure that finances are set up properly. Don't let anyone say they won't want to talk about it and pout it off. We are already do a lot of caretaking while they are alive. We don't want a lot of stuff dumped on us after death. If there are enough assets a trust will eliminate the need for probate.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Note, however, that many financial institutions have the owners specify beneficiaries for their accounts, some accounts are designated with a pay on death beneficiary, some property titles are designated with transfer on death beneficiaries, and some are owned jointly and automatically pass to the surviving owner. These, like life insurance, would pass to the person listed, even if a will said otherwise.
Try to forgive your mother and yourself for not following up on her good intentions. I’m afraid it is far too common for caregivers who rely on inheritance for needed compensation to be disappointed.
Only your sister can decide to give you any of her inheritance or disclaim her share entirely. Such a request would likely be very awkward, so give a lot of thought to how to approach it. No one gets a second chance to make a good first impression.
In the last few years FIL began talking to DH about how he should get 75% of the estate when FIL passed to balance the scales. But he never changed his will to accommodate that thought process. And the will stated 50/50. So that is what was required to happen legally. And there was zero chance that SIL and her DH were going to give up any part of their share because they couldn't support themselves financially.
Verbal comments stating that someone "deserves" something only serve to get the hopes of the person up unjustly. There is likely nothing legal that can be done. Especially if there is no will, the state will likely split things 50/50 and leave it to you and your sister to make any personal adjustments. And your sister is under no obligation to adjust anything.
Or
You can Chalk it up to education and make sure you don't repeat the mistake of not putting your wishes in writing.
Let this be a cautionary tale for others to get paid as you go or eat the pie in the sky.
Do you have anything in writing indicating your mom's wishes?
Sorry for your loss.
I am perplexed as to why it appears no one in the family addressed this need when it could have been handled legally to avoid this situation now. Although my intent isn't to make you feel bad; it is a reminder to ALL of us to get these matters in order 'now.'
Many people who fear death want to avoid anything to do with planning for the inevitable - including getting a Will and other needed legal documents in order. We do what we can when we can. Gena / Touch Matters
Since there was not a will in place, you and your sister will legally be entited to divide the assets equally in most states. If there was a checking or savings that had you as a joint owner only, it is most likely payable to you on death this is not included in the division of assets and yours only.
You can have the difficult conversation with your sister to see if she will agree to non equal division but things can go south real fast. If there was no will there should be minimal assets to divide. It will be up to you if you would like to pursue for a possible rift between siblings.
Wishing you peace and strength during this difficult time.
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