I am so fed up. I am a very young 64 and he is 66. Everyday is a battle. He is so confused and yells at me when I try to help him. I feel so angry that my life after retirement has come to this day to day nightmare. I love him and want to help... What do I do to help him and myself.

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That's a lot to deal with. I can only imagine your stress. I don't have any magic answers, but, I'll just share some things that helped me. My LO, at one stage, was also very contentious and disagreeable. I couldn't figure it out. Turns out, it was dementia. (Later, it could change as he progresses.)

One thing I learned was to adjust my expectations. Both of myself and my LO. We can only do so much. Caring for a person who has dementia around the clock is like working 24/7 every day of the year. It's not very feasible. I'd try to get some back up support and respite care, so you can take regular breaks.

I'd also learn that arguing with him about anything is not going to help. You won't get him to admit to things or that he has dementia. It's actually something in the brain that prevents the patient from processing or accepting it. Plus, he will likely be happier if he can't accept he has dementia. People who do accept it and understand get depressed, scared and hopeless. With my LO, I tried to agree with her and then go about and do what needed to be done.

There are some helpful videos on You Tube, by Teepa Snow about dementia care. She's very pragmatic and helpful in her tips and information. She gives demonstrations on how to calm an agitated person who has dementia. There are also some good books out there that may help.

Still, full time caretaking for a person who has dementia, is challenging and often the patient cannot be made happy. You might discuss it with his doctor and see if he suffers from anxiety or depression. I'd explore if medication could help. I might also explore plans for his future care. You are very young to have no other activities but caregiving. I'd try to avoid burn out.
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