My mother got suddenly ill last year about this time. She had been in jail for her drinking and bad behaviour during that time. Been dealing with her drinking since 2005. It became worse in 2012. She went to jail almost every year, except when she had a heart attack in 2014. They would eventually put her on non reporting probation. Then she would stay with us out of state. I always had to put my family on hold to take care of her. My mother is legally blind and has been since 2005. She has macular degeneration in both eyes.
My mother is doing very well in memory care, she went there about 1 year ago. She does not even remember being admitted. It took them about 7 months to bring her back to being more like she was before. Now she wants to go home. She has no memory of drinking and all the bad things she did during that time. My husband just turned 66 and is ready for retirement. We are selling are home out of State to go back where my mom is in the nursing home. We never sold our home because my husband's health doesn't allow him to go outside in the summer without being ill. We moved out of State for his job. I can admit mom is doing great. But now she wants to go home. She does have a home which she signed over to me after my dad passed away in 2002. But no one to take care of her. She doesn't understand I nearly had a nervous breakdown watching her go off and taking care of her all by myself. In other words I can't do it again. My momma begs the doctor's to go home. She says they say if I call them, we can take her home with us. I've tried to go around in circles to tell her no. But next time I call have you sold the house and when are you coming to get me?
So my question is how do I tell her no? I'm the baby and my siblings hate me and my mother. Sometimes I wonder if we should ever go home. My husband was sick last year with what the doctors thought was double pneumonia instead it was double blood clots. I had my gallbladder removed in December. So how do I tell momma no? When we move back I'm going to try and find a dementia support group. I feel like a terrible daughter and maybe I am. I've done things for my momma all my life. I've given until there is nothing left. Now I feel like a failure. My momma is memory care because that is where the doctors said she had to go. They diagnosed her with sudden on set of moderate to severe dementia. No one in the family has ever had this disease. Thanks!