She needs more specialized behavioral support not sedation and I am not sure they can provide that. She will come around after a few attempts but they are so task oriented that they are pressing ahead and not showing patience. She could walk on her own, feed herself, but that’s not the case anymore. She barely communicates or responds when spoken to. Do we find another facility? We tried a transition service to spend more time with her but we can’t pay for that ongoing. It has been 4 weeks.
Unfortunately, this is a behavior that cannot be controlled with patience alone. Her brain is broken and the staff cannot reason with her. Even if she settles down, there may still be days when she's difficult/combative and requires sedation. It's the nature of the beast that is dementia.
Give it time and let the staff know that you appreciate their efforts. One of the worst things for staff who do these jobs is having a combative resident whose family is in denial and a pain in the you know what.
Facilities DO NOT deal with combative residents, it's unsafe to allow this behavior for all involved.
I wish facilities would make it clear to families BEFORE they accept their loved ones. Aggressive and combative behaviors will be chemically controlled, it's really the only way and they can't reasonably be expected to provide 1 to 1 care, it's institutional care and as expensive as it is, it doesn't cover 1 to 1 expense.
I am so sorry that your family is going through this damnable disease. There are no good answers just least bad.
Personally, I would encourage you to try the sedated for showers only route and then try to find a board and care home with better caregiver to resident ratio.
Moves can contribute to an increase in dementia symptoms, that may improve or become the new normal. Could this be what is happening? It's still early days, 4 weeks isn't a long time for dementia move OR have they checked for a UTI to ensure that's not the problem?
Sorry for the scattered response, so much could be going on and you are just learning the fun of facility care, I was astonished at what I didn't know I didn't know when my dad 1st went to a facility.
Sometimes we have to step back, catch our breath and decide what it is we are looking to accomplish for our loved one.
The facility had Mom so drugged, she was literally face down in her food plate when I visited, and practically comatose when she wasn't freaking out. Mom was finally admitted to the hospital psyche ward for evaluation. After a month there, the doctors found the right med's for her that lessened her agitation and anxiety. But upon returning to the memory care facility, anytime she had a behavior, instead of trying to redirect her or see what the problem was, the nursing staff increased her sedation or gave her a strong PRN to make her sleep. I finally did some research on my own and found out by looking at the Mayo Clinic website and alzheimers.org that one of the medications they were giving Mom was NEVER to be given at night and they were giving it to her at 8 pm! They had also increased a medication she was receiving by 3 times the amount she should have been given. Also, she was being given a PRN sedative anytime day or night whenever they felt she was getting worked up.
I finally insisted on meeting face-to-face with the memory care facility doctor and the psychiatrist (although the head nurse was reluctant to let me do so). They were both very kind and listened to my concerns. They also saw first-hand what Mom was like most days, instead of just dropping by to say "hello" on rare occasions and asking the nursing staff how Mom was doing. I shared the info with them that I had found and they agreed that Mom's med's should be reduced back to what they were when she came out of the hospital, that one particular med should never be given later than her last meal of the day, that one med should be eliminated, and that she should NEVER be given a PRN sedative unless I was called on the phone first and gave permission for them to do so. The results were almost immediate. She is doing much better, is calmer and enjoys most of her days, although she does wake up at night and tries to get out of bed. Since she is a fall risk, we must have private care for her at night. But it is worth it to see her peaceful and more alert now. She can have intelligent conversation with us, although she is weak and very frail.
I'm sorry you are going through this. I know first-hand the frustration, sadness, and even despair that this situation can cause. My advice again is to continue to advocate for your Mom, get a list of her med's and look into them, and talk directly to the doctor and/or psychiatrist of the facility. Praying God will help you find the best solution.
May I ask you, is sedation not preferable at this stage to constant agitation? For me the answer is that it is. For you, the answer may be something else. But in order to stay in facility I think the only answer is medications. I hope they will find a medication that will not so heavily sedate. That may require a move to facility and in house psychiatric care because it is quite impossible to assess in care.
They are the angels 😇 - while the ones who hate their job, and enjoy the authority they have are very plentiful too.
best of luck to your family🙏🍀 These are such hard times. All of the elderly were once babies, kids, teenagers, young adults, ect…. Some people forget that they were once very health, vibrant, smart, loving, and good people. I am sure some were difficult their entire lives, but not too many.
We will all be elderly one day, and it is important to fix these issues for future elderly, that are young now.
There are electronic devices that can be placed in a room that can “drop-in” on her at anytime to make her connect with you & family. It works wonders when attendants are not able to attend or if she gets frantic… Also, there are cell phones now that can help seniors with facial recognition with big photos to help them pick the ones they want to call. You’re handling it as best you can.…
See All Answers