My mother stays up many nights and then is tired of course, during the day. Problem is it’s affecting my sleep or lack thereof. What to do?

She doesn’t like to be alone, which could be part of this. I’ve tried to steer her away from caffeine & high sugar in the evening. I’m not always successful. She doesn’t hear well and often, at the wee hours I’ll awake to the loud tv radiating through my bedroom wall from her bedroom next to mine as she removes her hearing aids when she goes to her bed at night.

To compound this, she was involved in a serious car accident almost a year ago. She’s had several surgeries. Her mobility has been greatly impacted, not withstanding her freedom & independence as a result. She’s taking narcotics around the clock combined with several other meds for a vast array of health issues, and I can hear her when she moves, moans from the pain during the night.

This last year has been a real struggle and challenge as I work full time. I’m finally bringing in a caregiver a couple days a couple of hours to start beginning this week. This last year I’ve piled on the weight from stress and unhappiness deep down in. And, our relationship has deteriorated greatly as we’ve lived together this past year when my mom hasn’t been in the hospital or convalescence for rehab.

Finally, mom suffered a TIA in 2013. Her personality changed drastically to the level at some point I felt like I had lost the mother I once knew. She’s difficult to get along with and, since I’m the closest to her providing most of her care needs I get the brunt of her unhappiness. It has taken its toll on me to the point if I could stomach a place where she could live independently, but surrounded by other seniors I think we’d both be much happier. However, it’s challenging to find an available place here in the San Francisco Bay Area and affordable, I’m not even sure exists.

Sincerely,

Tired & Overwhelmed