Thank you for taking the time to read my post. I am very overwhelmed and tired. I don't know how to be a good daughter, enjoy the time with my parents and have my kids spend time with them, when I am constantly guilted and told I am mean and don't do enough for my parents.
My mom has always had to make every situation about her, down to how she loves my kids more than me and worries more than I do about them. She is jealous of any person I am close to that is not her. She is always having a bad day and it is always someone else's fault and she is always the victim.
My parents have a dysfunctional co-dependent relationship that over the years has been volatile. They treat each other horribly but my dad excuses my mom's behaviour. She hasn't been well it seems like most of my life.
They have no motivation to make friends or join a group complaining they have no way to get there, I call them ubers when needed and my mom always manages to find a way to shop. When I can I drive them but my mom literally calls me the moment she needs me and expects me to drop everything or makes me feel guilty when I have plans.
When my in-laws visited she is very jealous of my MIL who wasn't able to see my kids for 3 years! if I am nice to her, it means I am mean to my mom.
The constant guilt, demands, outbursts, it is beyond overwhelming and I hate to even answer my phone or visit and that makes me sound awful I know.
I love my parents, but I am not sure how I can manage knowing it will get worse.
Thanks for reading.