Dad is on his way out, we all know and aren’t expecting much more time with him. My brother out of state “M” has said he will come here to see Dad. This would be a sad but wonderful family time of my family didn’t fit into every category of dysfunctional. M opted out on family about the time I was born. There is 17 years between us. My parents have been there whenever he asked and he took with seemingly the least amount of graditude nessacary. He has live out of town most of my life. When he is in town my parents go out of their way to see him because they care deeply and miss him. He participates in some family stuff, mostly the fun activities and leave again for years. In the last 5-10 years he has not seen the parents and has called less than 10 times. When he is here he encourages the parents to live outside their means and encourages them to stay in their fantasy world. Mom will survive Dad and even if she stays on the reckless course she has been on, she has many years left. She has many mental and emotional problems that limit her from understanding how life works and knowing where boundaries are. I’ve done a lot of work with mom to get her to understand where she was at (physically and mentally) were not ok and we have plans for a new start with a brighter future. I am concerned that when my brother comes into town he is going to encourage Mom to relapse into the bad habits that have made her life unlivable. I have always been the caretaker in my family for both of my parents and my other brother that lives in town town. Before a month ago I would do things behind the scenes to make sure that everyone is taken care of emotionally, financially, and physically. If my out of town brother visited a month ago I would have let him do his own thing and then cleaned up the mess that he leaves. The difference this time is that mom is on a path and she has asked me to help her. I am also in the position to be the POA for both of my parents. My brother M has always treated me as a distant relative and has undermined me whenever he felt his decisions were the better ones and my parents took his side because they missed him and didn’t want to displease him in any way lest he not visit for another 5-10 years. I know that the proper way to deal with this is to have an adult conversation with M. I however, also know that I have a temper and that he pushes all of the right buttons to set me off. I won’t be able to avoid him while he is in town, and confrontation with him could lead to a rift between me and the brother that is here in town. If this were a month ago it would be no big deal. Right now, my stress level is off the charts and he is not going to make anything smoother by showing up. Even Mom has expressed concern and she half lives in a fantasy world. I’m not one to hope for sudden change in personality from a near 50 yr old man, so I’m left with the knowledge that he’s coming like a storm on the horizon. Any advice?