With my mom moving in soon, I'm wondering how one deals with an estranged sibling. I'm no longer close to this person and any contact I make, be it text, word of mouth or email, is met with cold responses. Sometimes even a door slammed in my face! Recently, I decided to shoot an email with medical updates on our parents. In turn, this sibling didn't even address anything in my email, but rather seemed more interested in filing an elder abuse report against another sibling. WTH?!
My mom has expressed that this sibling causes her stress, yet despite that fact, she allows them to visit her. This sibling rarely visits. Once, they brought a sugary fruit drink that Mom consumed and she had diarrhea. Mom's diabetic and this person still thinks what they did was OK!
Now, I live some 300+ miles away, but I have a gut feeling this sibling will want to come and visit. There are grandkids after all. In my opinion, this sibling is unpredictable and mean, but I'm not about to deny Mom her right to see the little ones. In the past, this sibling accepted money from my parents for hardship, but has never been around to help with medical or estate matters for Mom and Dad. This person has also destroyed property belonging to my parents when they were angry. They dented cars, put holes in drywall, etc. Once, after our mom's amputee surgery, I witnessed this sibling accidentally bump into her leg. Absolutely careless.
I've been declared POA and FPOA already. I saw another thread advising that you can allow the sibling to take mom out for dinner/lunch/meet outside the home and state that they are not welcome in your home. How do you enforce that?
I did think about perhaps Mom going to adult day care and they can meet her there for the day and then she can be brought back home at the end of the day. Something like that? Then she'd be surrounded by witnesses and medical personnel.
I wouldn't put it past this sibling to try reporting neglect or elderly abuse without actual proof if they were emotional enough to. I can keep steadfast records and journals, I suppose? While I'll bet that would be a MASSIVE headache if he tried anything and I had the proof to counter it, it's just extra work. How do I protect my mom and my household? I just want to be as stress free as possible to ensure I have the health and peace of mind to be the best caretaker I can be.