My brother seems to be controlling. He is the person on record concerning her medical issues and takes her to the doctor. He does not share information with me. I am the one who gets her food and other things she needs, spends time on the phone, has a housekeeper in there once a week to clean, etc.
She suffers heart disease and is homebound and possibly in very early dementia, according to the last therapist we had for OC. I don't come into contact with her regular doctor and I cannot get information as he is on record.
In any case, I have pretty much given up trying to get information about her condition until an ER visit, hospitalization or rehab happens, at which time, I manage to garner some information. It is difficult when you are dealing with what I think is his trying to control me.
I also have an ongoing problem trying to get her to give me a list of food she needs. She worries about the money. I tell her I don't care. She never gives me a complete list. She knows it is my husband's income so that is the reason. I do know that she is more comfortable telling my brother what her needs are. So, I finally emailed him yesterday asking if he could call her once a week, get the food list and forward it to me by email, and that I would understand if he could not . I did not really expect a response as he usually does not answer my emails regarding her. But, he answered this one saying "will you please remind me when I forget". This was so ridiculous that I finally got the courage to say what was on my mind. I responded. Thank you. However, I do not think I can remind you when you "forget" as I have no way of knowing when that happens. Perhaps a calendar reminder on your Blackberry? I did not mean to be nasty but I am tired of it.
He has withheld medical information, called me on the phone to "go over there and clean it up" (in reference to an accident she had) and I never knew how to respond. At this point, I realize that he is or is not going to cooperate no matter what I do so I might as well not take it.
What is your view on what I did. I actually feel guilty about my email, a little. Not used to speaking up, but, seriously if I am willing to shop and pay for it, what is his issue?
How do all of you handle siblings who are not forthcoming. Thanks.