I know I ask questions about this but here I am again. Still floundering and just can't get seem to get back on solid ground. Can't stop being very frustrated and sad. And angry. Yup. It feels so wrong and I feel so petty but haven't been able to come to terms with the situation.
Last time, one person suggested that I could have been enabling her and WOW was that a bullseye right between the eyes. I saw that I have done way too much for her for way too long. And I have stopped.
I came to the realization that I am so freakin annoyed with ME caring more about her well being than she does. This is where I'm pretty much STUCK. Her strength and mobility have declined and she doesn't want to go to PT anymore. She "claims" she'll do it at home but it's never really happened before so....history DOES repeat itself. I do my best to NOT ask if she is or is not doing her exercises. I just can't bear the answers.
IF her refusing to remain active only had an impact on her, then big fat hairy deal, right? BUT she lives with me and hubby. And we already do most of the things. Either because of her pain or lack of strength and mobility.
I just see the future and I HATE what I see. And I know that it's 90% her own fault because she refuses to do the exercises and increase her strength and mobility. I recently told her that I am NOT doing more because she is choosing to do less. And now the battle lines have been drawn and we're both annoyed/angry with each other.
Do I have to be OK with her lack of activity which will lead her to continue to decline?
How can I not be disgusted with her lousy attitude?
Then also she made a snarky comment about me going to my daughter's without her which turned into a major blowout. I told her that I worry about her going up the stairs (she's horrible at stairs and we have to help and/or spot her), that she's going to fall and hurt herself and/or me. She doesn't get it. UUUGGGGHHHH!