I have been taking care of my parents for many years. 2 years ago I moved in because she could not take care of my father after a broken hip and dementia. My dad died in July. In the two years that I have been here I notice my mom change. My mom has always been verbally abusive to us and then to my dad when he was sick. She got mad because I had the social worker talk to her about it. She has made things up like there is no food in the house. I don't feed her just to try to get the attention of my other siblings that never come to visit because of the way they got treated though there life. I am her POA but she said now she doesn't trust me. I worried she will make other things up. She said she wants to move but when you ask her when she gets mad. She has been packing and giving things away then doesn't remember and accuses me of taking them. I ask my siblings and she has given them the items. Just don't know what to do.

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My suggestion is that you have a frank discussion with each sibling and other friends, neighbors, etc. about your mother's accusations. Reassure them that she is being fed, there is food in the house and that she IS being taken VERY good care of. Do NOT let her dementia talk get you in hot water. Sometimes dementia folks put on such a good act of the victim that people are going to believe them and NOT you. My dad accused me of all kinds of cruel things and thievery. Protect yourself. Dad has been gone for a year and a half and I still get dirty looks from one of his neighbors. Hang in there!
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I have an issue with people who say "you need to get he/she to doctor for evaluation" re diagnosis or update on diagnosis of dementia.  It's not easy saying to that person, let's make a doctor appointment for you to see if you have or progression in your dementia.  I know from experience, that 1.  the argument will be there that they don't need it, they're fine.  2.  At least here in California, it seems that once a person turns 80 years old, they're appointments aren't as "urgent" or "necessary"  so the office will schedule them out 1-2 months.  My mother would call her Dr. with complaint of skin breaking out in sores (stress), but they won't schedule her until 2-3 months out.  She's called with the suspicion of UTI, and they reply, the Dr. can see you in a couple of weeks.  If it were a teenager, the Dr. would schedule an appointment within a couple days.  I just thought I'd get that out there, as it ticks me off that elderly get put on the back burner unless they're in an ambulance with the lights flashing.  So my back to my point,  it's not easy 1.  to convince the elder,  and 2.  getting the appointments
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lealonnie1 Oct 2019
Who said anything about 'convincing' the elder of anything or telling her she needs to be diagnosed with dementia???? That is obviously not something most people would do. In fact, my mother is in Memory Care with NO knowledge of the fact that she's been diagnosed with dementia......I call it 'forgetfulness'. She is there for her own safety, and seen by her doctor on a regular basis with no waiting for appointments.

With a diagnosis of dementia, the family then has recourse when the mother is trying to convince others that she's 'not being fed' or being 'mistreated' in some way. When dementia is a known quantity, then there is a REASON for the off-the-wall statements and others are able to slough it off a bit easier.

If an elder is thought to have a UTI and having symptoms and the doctor is trying to put off an appointment for a couple of weeks, wouldn't that elder be taken to Urgent Care or to the ER right away? Yes, we do have a rather broken health care system, especially where the elderly is concerned, but here in this country at least we DO have many options.

Just sayin'
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Your mother is suffering from dementia/Alzheimer's and displaying the typical behavior & accusations that go along with the dreadful disease. The best thing you can do is get her to the doctor for an evaluation and see what he/she recommends as the next course of action or if medication is a good idea. Medication is not always prescribed for dementia, however. You can Google dementia/Alzheimer's and read up on the subject to gain some insight about how to handle your mom when she starts making accusations, etc.

Here is a link to an excellent article about dementia & lots of great tips:

Best of luck!
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