hello, this is my first post here and I hope I’m posting this properly. My father had a heart attack last year, and has congestive heart failure, stage two. He seemed to be doing great, even at his age (84) and he worked up until February of this year, when he got laid off (not because of his illness, but his job got rid of his position) That’s when everything went down hill quickly. I’m disabled myself, and I have very bad chronic pain that makes it hard for me to do much, and my father is able to move around, he goes to the bathroom on his own, drives very well and is sharp as a tack...but he just refuses to do anything. I’ve asked him to at least clean up after himself, he refuses. He calls me on the phone at 3am, 4am to get him something to drink when he’s closer to the kitchen than I am. He won’t shave, he won’t change his clothes and if I ask him to, he refuses or just flat out ignores me.
I even asked him one day why he ignores me, and he said because I repeat the same thing over and over again and when I said it’s because he doesn’t listen, he turned the TV up louder. My house is a mess, and it’s too big for me to handle alone. Every one I’ve tried to reach out to about this says I’m being cruel for being angry and frustrated and that I should treasure these moments, and that it’s the best time of my life to care for my father.
It's hard to treasure anything because he ignores me, treats me like a maid and ignores me when I’m in obvious pain and need some help...I don’t ask him to do anything heavy, just small things to make things easier...
he is the only parent I’ve got left (I took care of my mother from the age of 6 until she died when I was 17) and I just am so full of resentment that it hurts sometimes. Is that normal? Has anyone else been through anything like this? I feel so alone, and I have no one around to talk to.