How to cope with something always going wrong? I can't live like this.

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First, my mom demands one thing and then another. Then my dad's therapy stops at the nursing home because he refused too much. Every day, no, every HOUR, I'm waiting for another email or phone call or something to screw my day over. EVERY SINGLE day it's something new. Or I think of something I have to do for my parents. I hate it. I don't have a life. I spend my weekends fixing their life to no avail. It's been 7 months like this. Is this my new reality?


I don't believe in mystical crap but sometimes I feel like I'm manifesting these issues..like I expect them to happen so they do. Maybe I just need to go to a voodoo master or something... I'm that desperate.

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hey I do believe in that mystical crap! haha only cause it is partly true.

when I FOCUS on the negative, I limit myself on ANY positive.

“Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.” Dyer

ok that may sound corny to you, but it really does work, if you practice it.

Sometimes I want to pity party non-stop. then something even worst happens and I wish I could go back to what I had.(didn't realize I was doing okay!)

try visualizing your dad being KEPT CARE of in the NH. picture him being comfy in bed or whatever.  picture the same for your mom. idk if you have found her an apartment yet. but visualize her in her new space.

don't let your brain go off to lala land. all you do is end up being miserable. I do understand youre under a lot of pressure. but try to separate YOUR time from their problems. remember life is not an emergency. (at least it shouldn't be 24/7)

im sorry I know that may not help. and your situation is hard. but ive read your posts and I think you are very mature for your age, and you have done a great job so far!
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Reply to wally003
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AJ, you’ve gotten good advice here. Will you take it? Or, on some level, are you an “enabler”. If Dad is in a nursing home, he is safe and cared for. Go to the social worker, Director of Nursing or even the administration and tell them you only need to be notified if Dad is being 911-ed to the ER. If he is no longer receiving PT, well...ok. He’s their responsibility now. Don’t stress about it. You are no longer his caregiver. They are.

Is she a practicing alcoholic? Do you provide her alcohol? Do you complain, complain, complain and then as soon as she calls, you’re off like a shot to her side?

No one can change this but you. Can you do it? I think you can.
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Reply to Ahmijoy
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JoAnn29 Jul 24, 2018
Is he in the NH for good or just rehab? If just rehab he will be discharged for refusing to do rehab.
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aj,
I know that so much has happened over the past few weeks.  Could you update us on what is currently going on?  I know that your Dad is in a nursing home, but I don't remember where your Mom is living?  Are you going to school?  I remember that you talked about that awhile ago.
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Reply to DeeAnna
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AJ, you can't fix their lives. Your parents are both alcoholics, yes?

You need to set very firm boundaries with them, and with the caregiving staff at the NH.

"I'll put it on the list, mom" comes to mind as a reply when mom demands something.

Is the NH telling you they are going to discharge your father? Make sure you tell them that there is no one at home capable of caregiving.
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Reply to BarbBrooklyn
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Sorry but I can't remember the details of your situation but I think you need to give yourself permission to take your life back. Your father is in a nursing home - tell them you don't need an update unless he is seriously ill/injured or on his way to the hospital. You need to set boundaries with your mother, you need to stop dancing whenever she pulls the strings. You know what they say, you can't be a doormat unless you lie down, so stand up for yourself!
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Reply to cwillie
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