You've all heard me whine here before. Another exhausting day at my dad's. My patience is gone. For reminders, he is 92 years old, mixed dementia, still lives on his own, owns a car and a truck that the caregivers drive (although I'm hearing rumors that he has been driving in and out of the garage lately - he doesn't have a license anymore but insists that his insurance company told him it is OK for him to drive on his own property), has care that comes in 6 days a week for 1/2 days and I do Saturday afternoon 'duty' as I have for the last 4 years. Oh, and don't forget, I'm guardian and conservator. I work full time Mon.-Fri. so my weekends are precious to me but I started this so I guess I'll finish it out. Anymore, there are really other things I'd rather be doing on Saturday so I like to get over there, do what I need to do and leave although this generally stretches out to 3-1/2 to 4 hours. All the while, my patience is frayed. He makes EVERYTHING so difficult. There are so many easier ways to do things. He takes the longest way around a problem to fix it and I just lose my patience. I sit there thinking about how much easier all of this could be if he'd just let me do it (I'm a bit of a multitasker). He doesn't trust ANYTHING I do for him. He wants to double check all of my work. If there's filing I need to do, he insists on knowing what I've done. He has never given up control of the incoming money. I have a sheet started where he can record what checks he has coming in from IRA's, pension, and dividends. The attorney has said that will be fine. But he cashes the majority of the checks and only puts enough cash in his checking account to pay the bills. I cannot account for where the money goes other than what he deposits. I think he is stockpiling money (again) and will not let me have access to it - he keeps his cash locked up. He still pays his bills out of his own checking account that the court has allowed him to have. I only pay for his caregivers and his quarterly taxes out of the conservatorship account. Initially, he wanted me to bring the checkbook to his house to pay these bills so he could check my work but I politely told him 'no'. I do that on my own time. He did not want the guardianship/conservatorship and complains about it all the time. But it is needed. He doesn't spend money on what he should for his care.
How do people develop patience? I haven't done very well with this lately. I can see faster ways to do things and I just want to get it done. He insists on taking the longest way to get things done because his brain just doesn't work like it used to. He is a control freak (never was growing up). He is very frail. I try and try to work with him. That's all he really wants but I get so impatient. I know you will all tell me to take the money part away from him but this would result in a MAJOR meltdown that I don't want to put either of us through (last year when I tried to take the car keys away, it was police, handcuffs, and 5 days in the hospital labeled as a combative patient). I don't want to go through that again.