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We were like best friends all my life until this year. I just need to learn how to not yell and scream at her.

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Some people are not called to be caregivers. Seriously take a look at the situation and decide if you might be one.

It is okay to not be the boots on the ground caregiver, you will still be her daughter and advocate while she is being cared for by professionals.

Hugs, it is a tough situation.
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Reply to Isthisrealyreal
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What works for me is getting out. I am not a person who raises my voice ( unless my husband wants to pass an 18 wheeler on the turnpike). Lol. But get out and away as much as you can. Realize it’s the illness not the person who is driving you nuts. Also realize you are human. You have limits. You nor your mother asked for this. Realize that most people in our shoes have no training or background in dealing with dementia. It’s kind of like becoming a new mom. But not really. No training there either with the first baby. The times nothing works to get them to sleep or stop crying, but somehow we managed.
And most of all I live by the fact, that this too shall pass
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Reply to Erinm60
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Cheryl you are not alone. That is two major diseases to be battling and without a doubt hardest on you. I am sure many others will respond and support you

I can speak for me. My situation is a bit different but the feelings and struggling the same.

First, forgive yourself. Stop beating yourself down for not having the ability to manage the emotions yet.

We all get to that place of yelling at some point and it feels horrible. I am so glad to hear you acknowledge it's no good and has to stop. Because of that awareness you will get better with guidance for sure.

That's the key here. Get to a therapist/counsler who can guide you through the hurt, anger and pain. You need that decompression. And perhaps take the opportunity to educate yourself on those conditions and what they cause. Knowing will help you cling hold to the compassion exhaustion hasn't surrendered quite yet.

I have a son with the equivalent of Parkinson. When I learned that paranoia, hallucinations, and hearing things can at times be symptoms for some patients, I became much more patient and less angry.

I felt badly for spending so many days angry at him being burned out with his constant anxieties. It clicked differently because I knew he was scared and being reactive as a result.

So, please start with forgiveness towards self. And if you can't get some mental health support so you can, and be able to make the best decisions possible.

Also, I would absolutely be working on placing Mom at a capable facility/living situation. With her in the grips of two major diseases that are work intensive to support. Doing it alone at home will break you.

Be sure to set healthy boundaries as you go forward so you are not pressured into a caregiver role. Especially if family is behaving in ways that send off signals of "dumping Mom" in the most convenient place for themselves. No matter the promises to help. Once you take that role people vanish.

I will let others add since so many here live this life everyday too. Don't give up on yourself. And don't let the pressure make decisions for you.
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Reply to OctoberAngels
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Caregiving, either full, part-time or even occasionally, can be very frustrating. Sometimes, at some point, it’s just not healthy anymore. Can you give us some more information? Do you live in your moms house? Does she live in yours? Are you her full time caregiver? Do you have any help?
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Reply to rocketjcat
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