Lately, at times I feel like my abilities to accomplish anything have Diminished. I am now taking anti anxiety and depression meds. Not sure what changes to make.
The isolation and inability to reach one's goals and dreams is depressing me when I was already depressed from the last 13 years of caregiving. All plans of our moving are on hold... It would have been difficult with my mom going in and out of hospitals and rehabs but she passed away before the virus began. Then my MIL began to decline rapidly about a month after the Covid lockdown. She had to be rushed to the ER and was hospitalized. We only saw her once in the hospital, one at a time before she went on hospice to a NH. We could not see her in the NH and she died only 2 days after arriving there. Luckily hospice kept her comfortable and pain free. I feel so used to being locked down with 13 years of caregiving that I feel this "sentence" is just continuing in a different way with the virus, but we are being careful and hoping things get better some day. How long can someone hang onto hope when plans and dreams keep getting delayed and we are not getting any younger ourselves? I get through this the way I have been getting through the last 13 yrs. of caregiving.....one day at a time.
This past year has been the worst due to COVID-19 and my mom who is 93 starting to suffer with dementia. She has lived with me for the past 3 years. I was becoming petrified that I would bring this virus home to her as I have to work F/T. I'm a single homeowner. I constantly worried she was going to fall or burn the house down as she was starting to leave burner/stove on. She became more and more difficult to deal with, stubborn and would not even let me take her to the doctor in the city I live. Nope it had to be an hours drive out of town to HER doctors from her small town. Not being able to really go out or see my friends was horrible! I'm glad I was deemed essential and still reported to work. That really kept me sane but I was exhausted- physically, emotionally and mentally from being her caretaker. It also did not help that she is a classic narcissist and has always been quite critical of me. I know - why oh why have I put up with this all these years as I'm 60!?. Well I came home one day - heard a scream and a thud. Yes she had fallen and suffered a stroke. She can still walk and talk but the hospital wanted to send her "home" after 3 days. Thank God she had a supplement which allowed her to go to a SNF for up to 100 days. There is no way my home or that I could provide her care. She will need assistance with all of life's basic functions. This pandemic made it H*** the last 2 months as when I finally saw her she had dwindled down to nothing. She lost 23 lbs and was already very tiny. It has been a very hard situation with a gamut of emotions. We finally got her moved to a smaller town that had no COVID and she can have her old doctors back and is closer to what family and friends she has left. I really feel like I have a touch of PTSD. Is that possible? I finally have my home back to myself and it's peaceful again. But I still feel a twinge of guilt I can no longer care for her. The place she is in now is nice - she has her own bed/room/t.v. A nice courtyard to walk around in and the food is good. But just the other day after a visit she was complaining again! I now know that there is no pleasing this woman and no longer feel any guilt. I plan to fix up my home, renew some long, lost friendship (at a distance) and start to enjoy my life again. I'm trying to get rest/respite, exercise, think positive and eat healthy. I want to enjoy my life too! Peace to everyone out there.
I care for my husband with dementia and you are singing my song. I know that when I place him in some sort of home, I will suffer terrible guilt, but I also dream of a time when I'm not tied to him and can go out without making arrangements for someone to be with him. I long to be away from him so I don't have to answer the same stupid question for the 15th time in an hour, listen to his positively insane stories about what's going on in his kids lives, hear about what his first wife is doing or taking from him because he's convinced he saw her in apartment taking inventory. We've been married 31 years and I just cringe every single time he says we're just getting to know each other. He tells me he loves me daily, but he doesn't remember a thing of our life together so what he really means is he depends on me and appreciates my efforts - something I know I should be grateful for but I find I'm resenting it more and more. And I may never get that chance. This could be the rest of my life and that depresses the heck out of me. Recently, we've gone out to eat with a couple of friends who still bother with us since we can eat outside. But I dread the thought of winter and being so cooped up with him again.
When I was a full time caregiver for a long period of time I sunk into depression and anxiety. Therapy helps in learning to process difficult situations.
Caregivers and people suffering with Covid can become lonely from being isolated.
A lot of people are suffering with anxiety and depression during this Covid situation.
I pray that those who need help in any area of their lives will find it. Take care, everyone.
Please, please, please, i beg you do not ever even consider taking any so called antidepressant and or antianxiety drugs. Please thank God for your wonderful precious brains and never ever risk taking anything that could possibly in any way change how they work.If you feel anxious, etc., then take sublingual B12 every morning. Then, make sure to eat only real true pure food primarily lots of organic berries, fruits, and veggies every day. Be sure to eat at least one whole egg every day. Drink a lot of whole milk and eat a lot of nuts and spinach. Good food is good medicine. Eliminate white sugar, fructose, and sodas from consumption. Eat a lot of real true pure maple syrup, molasses, and honey.Beware of meds and supplements. Do a lot of careful research before ingesting anything.B12 is very safe and can do no harm if you take a very pure form of the methyl kind. Some supplements especially mineral supplements can be unsafe. Be careful and cautious.Think first before putting anything in your mouth. Also, be careful what you feed your mind.Read and or watch only beautiful, true, and positive thingsd. Love to all
Hi! I love, love, love your reply and advice about watching our diet and eating healthy foods and foregoing medications! That is such an important point! I have personally seen what medications and the side effects do to a person. I am so scared of taking any medication including OTC. I am very sensitive to everything as well. The ads on television just push these medications incessantly! I am trying to stay away from all negativity as well. Thank you for your great advice! 😍
I feel for you. I’ve had both depression and anxiety since before COVID but isolating has definitely made it worse. Yet I have underlying health conditions so I’m afraid to go out too often if I don’t have to. I definitely rely on my faith to get through. I’ve also started taking at least one photo each day of a beautiful sunset or pretty flower or my cat or dog, or delicious food something that makes me smile 😊
Well my mom was and is an at risk person due to Covid. I get nervous when I take her places. If she contracted it then death would be imminent. So it's scary! It causes anxiety for sure. Depression seem to become more intense for me also. Actually, still dealing with it. My advice is to find something you love, like music for me, and include it in your daily life. Maybe get a book with positive affirmations. Remember, we are all in this network because we "get" it.
I've been a caregiver for my husband for 15 years. At first, I could get away a few days at a time to visit the ids in other states. For the last year he has begun to panic when I'm away more than 2 hours. It's been a long, slow decline. I take an antidepressant too, but I'm finding a feeling of agoraphobia creeping in -- fear that if I go anywhere, I'll come back and find him on the floor dead. Then I would feel guilty. My daughter came and sat with him for the six hours I was gone last week to visit with a group of friends ( masks and distancing). He filled her ears with weird stories. In a cognitive moment, after I returned, he said I appeared happier than usual (I was) and suggested I find someone to sit with him so I could get out more often. Because I'm not much younger than he, I've had to give up most of my dreams that I've held close for fifteen years of one day being free of restraints and being able to travel again.
It would have been difficult with my mom going in and out of hospitals and rehabs but she passed away before the virus began. Then my MIL began to decline rapidly about a month after the Covid lockdown. She had to be rushed to the ER and was hospitalized. We only saw her once in the hospital, one at a time before she went on hospice to a NH. We could not see her in the NH and she died only 2 days after arriving there. Luckily hospice kept her comfortable and pain free.
I feel so used to being locked down with 13 years of caregiving that I feel this "sentence" is just continuing in a different way with the virus, but we are being careful and hoping things get better some day. How long can someone hang onto hope when plans and dreams keep getting delayed and we are not getting any younger ourselves? I get through this the way I have been getting through the last 13 yrs. of caregiving.....one day at a time.
When I was a full time caregiver for a long period of time I sunk into depression and anxiety. Therapy helps in learning to process difficult situations.
Caregivers and people suffering with Covid can become lonely from being isolated.
A lot of people are suffering with anxiety and depression during this Covid situation.
I pray that those who need help in any area of their lives will find it. Take care, everyone.
My daughter came and sat with him for the six hours I was gone last week to visit with a group of friends ( masks and distancing). He filled her ears with weird stories. In a cognitive moment, after I returned, he said I appeared happier than usual (I was) and suggested I find someone to sit with him so I could get out more often. Because I'm not much younger than he, I've had to give up most of my dreams that I've held close for fifteen years of one day being free of restraints and being able to travel again.