Such as age difference between the older siblings is two years apart and of the male gender then 8 yrs later a girl. Boys were taught to provide for a family and shown to be the bread winner decision makers. And women ware homemakers. I was spoiled rotten being the baby and only girl. Mom did all the cooking and cleaning, household things never allowing anyone else to do anything in her house for themselves even the girl. Paid for car insurance/licensing and paid for gas, tickets, all past to almost present debts... you name it til in late 40's when older brothers stepped in and decided sister was lazy and just trying to get money. Basically a free ride, not seeing she wasn't really shown or taught to do for herself and now just expected to be able to be self sufficient. Seems to still be put down for any and all attempts to show desire to earn it and ease into being self supporting. I missed a lot of valuable time being the outsider now 50 something's with living skills and maturity of a 20-25 yr old. Wanting to continue growing and learning, despite the handicap. Still being treated like a ten yr old spoiled brat. Givin no respect or validity. Any suggestions????

Your post is hard to read as you switch from second to first person.

What is the handicap? Is it the not being taught to fend for yourself? That is not a handicap, you choose over the last 50+ years to allow your mother to do for you. What stopped you from getting a job, an education, independence?

If you have a medical disability, that is another thing, but you do not state that in your post.

What do you consider to be the life skills of someone who is 20-25? I know many people in that age range, they are working, paying their own way, traveling, going to university, marrying, buying homes, having families and more.

How do you prove to your brothers that you want to be self sufficient? Just do it. If you have never worked, get off your duff and find a job, if you have no experience, volunteer until you get some, take a course or two.

Do your own laundry, cooking and cleaning, start today. But do not expect to get praise for doing it. If you are looking for praise for looking after yourself, you will be disappointed. Nobody gets a gold star for washing their own dishes.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to Tothill

Agreeing with Ahmijoy. You have to DO, not WANT TO DO. I have a niece who constantly says, "I'm getting my GED." She's been saying that for 25 years.

I never thought about an adult workshop Ahmijoy mentioned, but if there's one in your area, please seek it out. Perhaps a local community college has aptitude tests that can help you focus on certain job skills and counsel you on obtaining those. Lastly, a therapist may also help you stand up for yourself and find that inner strength so you have a more productive and happier life.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to MountainMoose

Respect and validation need to be earned. You can’t just say you want it and expect people to hand it to you. You can talk about everything you want for yourself and all you want to accomplish, but until you find a way to actually do it, no one will take you seriously. That holds true whether you are a man or a woman. If they think you are acting like a 10 year old, spoiled brat they will continue to treat you like one.

You obviously have access to and can use the Internet. Start job-hunting according to your skill level if you want to work. If someone holds guardianship for you, they can help once they realize you are serious. Find an adult workshop that can train you to be self-sufficient. When someone insists on “doing for” you, firmly say, “No, I want to learn how to do it for myself!” Saying and doing are 2 different things. If you prove yourself capable of learning how to do things by yourself, you will earn their respect.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to Ahmijoy

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