My brother is POA of my mom but has taken money for himself. Any advice? - AgingCare.com

My brother is POA of my mom but has taken money for himself. Any advice?

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My mom - who is now 88 years old - is very frail, has degenerative disc disease, depression, and in 2017 was diagnosed with the onset of dementia and Alzheimer’s.


My brother is the POA of mom’s money. He was also the agent on her health care until he renounced being her agent - so now I am.


About six months ago, my brother closed one of my mom’s accounts that had a lot of money in it and put it in his name only and wanted me to be the beneficiary of that money. I told him that I would not sign anything to make me the beneficiary of my mother's money. He told me that he found a way around it so that I didn’t have to sign any documents. I don’t believe that.


Then last week, he closed mom‘s savings account which had a lot of money in it and that is now in his name alone. The reason I know that these accounts were closed is because mom always made sure that my brother and I as well as mom we’re on all of her accounts - so the bank sends me the information that the account was closed.


I have now been looking to find mom a place in a memory care facility in Maryland that can take care of my mom and I pray that she will be happy there. My brother in no uncertain terms cussed at me saying that he would not pay a dime of the money if it goes over $6500 a month. Well nothing in Maryland worth putting my mom in goes for that. It also is important to me that mom goes into a facility where I feel that she will be the happiest. That it has enough room in her very small efficiency – with no kitchen – but with her things and will make her feel at home.


What I’m really worried about is that my brother has stolen this money from my mom and has put it in his account for him and his wife. My brother has sent me very mean emails all of which I have kept.


As he is stolen/taken all this money but rightfully belongs to mom and put it into accounts with just his name on it, how my supposed to be able to place mom in a assisted-living/memory care home? Another question I have is why is it OK that these accounts are only in his name? If he is the POA and is supposed to be acting in mom‘s best interests, then why can’t mom‘s name be on that money but if she tried to write a check against it, my brother would have to OK that.


My brother has totally turned against me – which I think a lot of is his wife. My brother has a lot of money, and lives in over $1 million home in Pennsylvania. I don’t understand why he doesn’t want mom in the last year‘s of her life to feel happy and secure.

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Yes - EXACTLY!! It’s mom’s money - NOT his!! I should have known better. My parents divorced when I was two years old. He never did anything for my brother or myself. I never stopped him from seeing his grandkids, but he always wanted me to bring them to him which I couldn’t do because I worked 40 hours a week and had a husband who was a policeman.

Right before my father died, he disowned me. I sure didn’t care. He left nothing to my brother and gave it all to his son by his second wife. What did my brother do, sued our step brother over the will and lost!!

That should’ve told me right there how greedy my brother is. Plus my brother lives in a multimillion dollar house, and I live in a very modest townhouse.

I just want my mother to live out the last year’s of her life in dignity and as happy as I can make her.
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Reply to Stiffdrink
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I haven't been thru that myself. but if you report him to aps or contact your moms elder attorney or your own attorney. don't tell brother you are doing so. keep records of dates and times. and like you said, keep all your emails. the process may take time idk. but he doesn't deserve(if he did take moms $) to get a heads up. and don't say anything to him to get a little dig. you sound level headed so when he finds out. don't over react if he gets nasty. don't give info on what you are doing...
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Reply to wally003
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Stiffdrink Aug 4, 2018
Thank you!!! I am not speaking to him at all. I have contacted the lawyer and am now in the process of printing out my emails and going to talk to the bank to get bank records.
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Because he is greedy, dishonest and selfish. Get APS involved to investigate financial abuse of an elder.
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Reply to Becky04473
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You need to consult with an Elder Law Attorney. He or she can determine whether charges should be filed against your brother and for what. The attorney can also tell you what paperwork and documents you will need if this goes to court. Mom’s funds should be used to pay for her comfort and care in her final years and should not be pocketed and/or hidden away by an unscrupulous adult child.
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