My biological father and stepmom are burning through their money super fast. My father has a lot of health issues, and my stepmom's mind is fading. However, my stepmom is sweet, docile and pretty easy to care for. She's a lovely person and I would never be on this forum if I only had to care for her.
Today, I warned my father that they're running out of money. I said, "When you do, if you get sick, you'll have to go into a nursing home...." He went berserk! He told me that he wouldn't EVER let his wife go into a nursing home (note he didn't mention it for himself, even though he's the major spendthrift!) and that he'd kill her first, because that's what she would want.
Actually, no it isn't. I asked her in front of him. She said she loves her life, and loves me, and loves the new place I got for them to live in.
I don't know if he'd really do it or not. At heart, I suspect he's a softie because he couldn't even say goodbye to his dog who had to be removed from their home. But he easily abandoned me when I was 4 and still has crocodile tears over it now that I'm back in his life. But, well, he had a long time to live child-free when he was young. He tells me that he was living a glorified gangster's life, which is probably an exaggeration, but I don't know.
I have no idea how to tell if this man will be a real threat to my stepmom in the future. I know he's unhappy, miserable even, in the new place. Do any of you have elders who talk about suicide every single day, and threaten homicide of their spouse?!?! I think he's like a 14 year old trying to get attention. But then again...