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We've been married less than 5 years. We live with my husband's Mother. Not cause we can't afford a place of our own. But because MIL can't afford things on her own. She does not care about anyone but her self. I took over making sure her bills got paid every month when she gets her check. Cause she would not do it. She had been lieing to my husband for 2 years about paying the insurance on the house before I came along. He was giving her the money and she pocketed it. She will look you in the eye and lie ALL the time. None of her 3 siblings have anything to do with her. And on the rare occasion that my husband does say anything to her about her behavior she will stalk down the hallway cussing like a sailor and say she will kill herself. She talks on the phone to her friends and her Aunt. She tells people our business. Plus she lies to them about us. She will love you to your face and talk about you like your filth behind your back. I'm at my witts end here. I do all the cooking, cleaning, taking her to her doctors appointment s. She is diabetic so I've changed a lot of the way I cook. Plus I've changed things that she is allowed to eat. She is the most unappreciative person I've ever met in my life.

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I think MIL wants to go on with her lifestyle, fooling herself that she is living independently and assuming she has an entitlement to you as a servant. As long as you are living in HER house, this will continue. How does your husband feel about this? Is he enmeshed with mom? Afraid of her, like a child might be? I fear your marriage does not stand much of a chance unless he understands that his wife comes first, he establishes a home with his wife, NOT his mom. Too many men don't get it that just going to work, providing financially does not mean they have a good family life. They avoid strife at home as much as they can and somehow expect that this idea of "family life" is sufficient. Is your husband willing to get counseling as a couple?
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If you can, disengage. If your husband says you have to stay there and care for his mother, tell him he need to chose--your well-being or his mother in another setting. It doesn't sound as if she needs a caregiver, just that she wants a housekeeper, cook and punching bag.
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Where is your husband in all of this? My first impression is she needs to move to a place she can afford. Translate this to subsidized senior housing. Rent is a percentage of the occupant's income. And (in my area) social workers visit and make sure the seniors have access to all pertinent services.
Are you and your husband contributing to the household expenses? Are you working? How old are you? From my perspective, 5 years is a very L O N G time to be living this way. Work to get your husband's view and then work together to change the scenario.
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