So - as a caregiver - in the home - I am often the subject of much family criticism. As is often is the case for many caregivers. Nobody helps, but may come here - for a visit - but then takes over the house and do what they want when they want - then watch my every move while coming up with judgments - criticisms. This goes through the rumor mill within the family and I am left feeling so down on myself.
Not only are my parents ungrateful me being here and taking excellent care of them - but I try to please those who visit. A plethora of unsolicited opinions are rendered -and I try not to but - feel less and less worthy of respect. In this family, it seems I am unwelcome to think feel or have a boundary that insists on basic respect. If I calmly state a boundary - my parents often mock me (and any emotional pain they inflict) and others look at me like I am a bad person for stating that I prefer my mother not yell at me (as an example).
I am trying very hard to get out of this situation and let them deal with the stress of it all - they can all do so much better and if I am so awful they can step up.
Feeling very worn out, downtrodden and worthless today on Christmas. I tried so hard to make it a great day for those who visited and my parents. My dad said the most cruel stuff to me - my mom too- and one visitor (family) said I should let these constant comments go...IOW: no boundaries - though my therapist said it is the healthy thing to do despite family denying the scapegoat to have rights and kindness.
I cannot understand the outright audacity of visitors to take over the house - tell me all about myself and yet have said "sorry I am not in a position to help out" when I said I needed some help...in the past. And yet - I am wrong because I don't want to be yelled at.
Anger and being upset is a normal emotion - but only for them. I am not allowed to do anything but say YES ...
thanks for listening. It is a tough holiday.