My mom has vascular cognitive impairment from several strokes. The easiest way for me to describe it is veryyyyy early stages of dementia. She also has poor vision and mobility issues so her walking is out of balance and scary at best especially when she Refuses to use her cane.
From around 8am to 4pm, she goes to adult daycare which has been a godsend. While she is away, I use that time to cook, clean, grocery shop, follow up with doctor visits, and tend to my personal errands. My husband gets home around 5pm, so I spend that gap of time catching up with her about daycare while I am cleaning what she has brought in from daycare and helping her get a snack. Shortly after, it’s time for dinner.
My concern is that even with all the companionship at the daycare with great friends, constant entertainment, and fun at the center, plus the time I spend with her before daycare (getting dressed, watching the news together, breakfast, primping, talking almost nonstop about random things) by the time my husband comes home, she will not wind down. She has plenty in her room to keep her entertained but can chat for hours on end about nothing, often ending with what she needs to buy (ie I need to go get her a blue headband to match her blue socks she is wearing tomorrow).
After dinner/night time meds, I’m pooped and maybe have an hour left to spend with hubby before I doze off. Even still mom is texting or knocking on our door with a non-crisis to us that can wait until the morning (or even next year 🙈) but an emergency for her.
What is wrong with our routine and how can I get mom to “go to her room” and start to wind down without a fight after daycare? I am not complaining about physical things she needs help with rather the attention/companionship she seeks that can go on for hours.
Thank you for reading and any suggestions.