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Hi MRSCBS123 : We Carer's care for Our love One's because We really love Them. You have given Your all towards caring for Your Mother, but It's time now for Professional's Nurse's and Doctor's, Physiotherapist's, and Carer's to look after Your Mum. None of Us wish to hand over Our Love One, but I've been made aware that this time will come to Me too, where by I will eventually have to let go and have My own Mother Who suffers from Al/s with 21/2 years, admitted to an Alzheimer's facility. We can only do Our very best MRSCBS123, and bring Those We love and Care for so far. Free Yourself of guilt feelings, because You have been a wonderful Daughter to Your Mum, and You will be Blessed.
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You say "I finally had to place" so that means you've exhausted all other options.
Which sounds to me like you tried your best to not put her in a nursing home. Am I right? Sounds like a great deal of love to me. You have nothing to feel guilty for.
Give your self a break.
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Guilt feelings go with caregiving. I don't think there is a sure-fire escape. If you kept her with you and realized she needed something you couldn't supply, you'd feel guilty about that. If she fell at home, you'd feel guilty about that.

The trick is to push that unearned guilt feeling way to the back of your mind, and don't let it interfere with making the best decisions you can.

Or ... it may not really be guilt you are feeling. It may be a combination of other things that we don't quite have a word for. Regret that Mom is now at this point in her disease; fear and anger over not being able to control the situation; unhappiness at being faced with the unknown. Lots of uncomfortable unfeelings, but not really guilt, because you are an intelligent and sensible woman and logically understand that this is Not Your Fault.
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I see you were posting about your mom two years ago. You hung in there a LONG time. You were doing the work of three shifts of people, who could go home and rest for 16 hours until their shift started again. Only you never got that rest. You were "on" 24-7. You were human and you could only take so much.

Now your mom is in a place with three shifts of people to care for her. You can still visit her and advocate for her. But you can let the professionals do the day-to-day care. Now you can focus on bringing her a little flower or a bright card. You can spend time with her doing what she likes to do. It's can be better for both of you, because you can go back to being her daughter and not her nurse and maid and chauffeur.

So try to understand you're only human. You can still see your mom and love her just as much as when she lived with you. She's safe and being cared for by professionals. Hugs to you - you deserve them!
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Do you feel as though you've done something wrong? We're you motivated by greed, avarice or sloth?

I think a lot of us feel as though we ought to be able to care for our elderly parents at home. It looks so easy when the Waltons did it.

The truth is, one might be able to care for a frail but mentally clear elder at home. Dementia is a game changer. Caring for a dementia patient requires three shifts of well rested caregivers who go home to a night's rest.

Dear lady, please forgive yourself for getting your mother into a good caregiving situation. Visit her as her loving daughter and advocate. Dont worry, there is still plenty or work for you to do.
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