I have been reading a bit about the importance of validating concerns. I know I am terribly guilty of ignoring and minimizing my mother's concerns. I know I'm not really to blame, because I've been hearing the same type things every day for many years now. I've gotten immune. But I started to wonder if all the complaints may be a search for validation and knowing that somebody cares. And I wondered if ignoring and minimizing may be shortchanging her and keeping her reaching for validation. Maybe she needs to know that someone cares.
But then I wonder if she needs so much validation that it would drive me crazy, since there is no one else to help. She has two friends, but she avoids them for some reason. Strange, because when she is with them she really enjoys herself. It picks her up for a short while.
I thought that I really do need to be more validating to her concerns. She is old and facing death within the next few years. But then I also know that she is a deep well of need and is a bit of a drama queen. I might get totally engulfed if I become too validating.
How do we keep a balance when someone is such a deep well of need and there's no one else around?