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My mother lives in her own home but people keep moving in with her . She has 23 acres she owns and a 2 bedroom house. She is financially set but my brother and his daughter with 3 kids moved in with her and take advantage of her financially, mentally and physically. I am the youngest of three kids. I live across the road from her. She is 83 years old. She is growing angrier everyday but won’t kick them out. Now her grandson who is on heavy drugs wants to move out here too. All the land is in Mama’s name, we all lived on the property for 30 years. I am trying to protect her but she keeps giving her money away to the grandkids who won’t work and take care of themselves. She is left all day with 3 kids and they are verbally abusive To her. She is physical in bad shape. Hard for her to get around. I take care of her appointments, bills and medications. But she gets loans for her grandkids and one son. They are putting her in a financial pickle. I am living paycheck to paycheck on disability.


What should I do without hurting her feelings? She won’t listen to me. If I say don’t get another loan then she wants to know where to sign. Please help me.

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It sounds like everyone, including Mama is taking advantage of YOU. They all do as they please while you take care of everything. Mama gets angry with the freeloaders but they keep coming out from under rocks and she does nothing.

You need the law on your side and the only way you can have that is to get a Durable Power of Attorney. You have no control over anything without it. Mom’s money should go for her care and Medical needs, not to support a bunch of lazy, drugged up, abusive bums. I’m not sure APS would be able to do anything if Mama backpeddles and lets them use her. She may not consider herself at-risk.
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JoAnn29 Oct 13, 2018
There are laws about how many people can live in a house. APS can get CPS involved. Six people in a 2 bedroom house is too many. Each child is required to have a bed on a frame. Not a mattress on the floor.

And POA can not be gotten if the person will not assign you.
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Call Adult Protective Services. This is too many people in one house. The brother needs a room, the daughter needs a room and depending on the sex, the children need a room. Girls and boys cannot sleep together after a certain age. Mom is not capable of caring for children. Maybe you can talk her into u being POA and then you can handle the money.

There should be services brother and niece can get for housing and childcare.
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What does her doctor say? Does she have dementia or cognitive impairment which impedes her ability to make sound decisions? Has she always enabled these relatives or is this a new behavior? Just trying to get some more info to know how to help answer the question.

I'm very sorry that they are taking advantage of her like this. Sometimes enabling has been going on for years and/or maybe gets worse when cognitive abilities start to go, or the person becomes more unaware of loved ones taking advantage of them or unable to comprehend the state of their finances.

Also, does she have a Power of Attorney?
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