How can I better handle the stress of dealing with a critical elder?
My mom is 72 and has lived with me for 2 years. She has limited mobility, but is able to take care of her own basic needs. As a child and young adult, she was verbally, emotionally, and sexually abused. Until her abuser died 18 years ago, you would never have known that she had been abused in any way. She was a good mother and role model. We were very close. Since her abuser died, she has become critical of EVERYTHING, and very demanding.
She has gone through therapy a couple of times and is on anti-depressant medication. She does not want to resume therapy, although she needs to. I have gone through therapy for my own sanity in being able to deal with her. For a long time, she would have several days in a row when she would be in a good mood - approachable, laughing, joking. Then she would have a day or two where she was just the exact opposite. Now, that has reversed. Even though physically she is not quite to the point of needing nursing home care, I feel like if something doesn't give soon, I'll be the one heading for a nursing home!!
I guess I'm not looking for a quick fix (but that would be nice!). Just blowing off a little steam.....