september21 Asked September 2009

How can I deal with living with my elderly Mom when I feel anxiety just looking at her?

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How can I deal with living with my elderly Mom when I feel anxiety just looking at her ? She is 88 and healthy but old and it is not her fault. What can I do for myself?

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tgroan12 Sep 2009
september21 it is very important for you and your parent to watch funny movies and shows on tv all day long. Do not watch anything sad. Sadness and depression causes our bodies to release toxic chemicals that do harm to our health and one of the best ways to combat sadness is with laughter. If you don't try this it's only gonna get worse. Please give it a try. Think Marx Brothers, Three stooges, W. C. Fields, I Love Lucy, etc.
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195Austin Sep 2009
I hope you really enjoy your time away and am glad you have a husband who enjoys staying home. When my husband was alive he liked to watch TV and I crocheted lap robes to donate to our senior center and they were given to many nursing homes abd VA hospitals-that way I spent time with him and did something useful at the same time-take care
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linda09 Sep 2009
195 austin .. both of my daughters works in nursing homes and other nursing homes , they did tell me not to put my dad in those places . he was in one in fla and hated it and cries for me .
i know when mytime comes it will be up to my children , i have no say so but i know both of my daughters will not put me in nursing home , ( they have seen so much ). maybe i wont live to be old , only god knows .
i can not ask my brother for more money , whatever i want i will have to pay for it out of my pocket . thats ok we never go anywhere before dad came so why now . my husband is a homebody and so am i . we do get out once in a while when my daughter stays with her pa .
i am so ready for tmr . going out to dinnerthen on saturday we will be gone !! horray !!!! tmr is our 30 yrs annivesary..
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195Austin Sep 2009
Ihardebeck-I am glad you are going to get away for a bit you need it as so does your husband-if your brother will not help why not ask him for some money so you can get consistant help maybe once a week or so you can be sure when your Dad passes away he will be first in line to see if there is any money lelt do not assume that one of your daughters will care for you when the time comes -one Mom can take care of 6 kids but 6 kids do not always take care of 1 Mom-and do not make her promise not to put you in a nursing home anyway your Dad may outlive you caregivers dies at an alarming rate before the ones they are caring for.and it is not fair to your husband to be put second I was for many years his mother and other relatives came first and I and the kids came much after and it gave his mother too much power but he did put her in a nursing home againist her wants-I was not going to care for her when she made life so bad for me for many years.
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linda09 Sep 2009
boardncare..
i misunderstood you last night . i thought you was askin me if i be intersting in taking in a elder . oops sorry.. my mind was in shambles yesterday . yes i would like to see the infomations you have ..
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linda09 Sep 2009
oh i cant do that , i still have my dad to take care of . when i get my freedom back im going to enjoy it for a long time . im willin to do all this for my father only . my mother passed away 20 yrs ago . i dontthink i can do it again unless its my husband mother shes 81 yrs old . senil and her youngest son is living with her . i hope he continue to do that . if nnot im going to end up takin care of her cuz my husband takes care of my father also ... what goes around comes back around i guess .... ijust hope i dont have to take care of his mother she is 5 times worst than my father , alz ...
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boardncare Sep 2009
I understand what you are going through..I am opening up a board and care for the elderly, you might be interested in checking it out...please let me know if you are interested
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linda09 Sep 2009
dear nauseated,,
thank you very much for those kind words , am sorryfor your loss , he s still in your heart . theres time i think i hear dad hollaring and i go check on him , hes sleeping hahaha . i have a feeling when he s gone im going to still hear him hollaring , wink , then i;ll know he s still in myheart . =)
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NAUSEATED Sep 2009
Dear lhardebeck, you are such a wonderful daughter. You will not be sorry, for caring for your Dad. You will look back and say to yourself, I gave him what no one else could, a loving, caring, safe home. And he will also know. And life is too short, I thought my Dad would outlive me too. And then a couple months later, he passed away, and I miss him so much.
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linda09 Sep 2009
i know some people can put thier parents in a nursing home . my father has already been in a nursing home and he doesnt like it cuz he has to wait around for help when he needs it . alot of time its short of staff and theyre doing the best they can (had my father sit wait for hrs in his soil briefs) both of my daughters are cna and they both work in differnt nursing homes and they tell me oh no u dont want to put pa in nursing home . i have been in several nursing homes and they put on a face like ohh hiiii and acts like dad is getting the best care . i have showed up in diffrent hours , once i showed up at 930 pm , theres my step mom sittin in her wheelchair dying !! i ask her what are u doing sittin out in the hall . she says oh im wait on them to put me in bed , ben sittin here for along time . i had to growl and bark at the nurses ! bed had no sheets on the bed . nanana no thank you i ;ll keep my father home where i can work with him anytime he hollars help me ....
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